Today, at work, a customer left their cell phone behind. I tried to see if there were any pictures so that I could identify them. No, I still don't know what they look like, but I have seen their penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML
Today, a customer checking out a camera at my pawnshop asked if the memory cards got erased. I said yes. He asked if I had a case for it and I left to get it. I came back and the guy said, "There's naked pictures on this memory card!" I Look at the LCD screen and it's a picture of his own dick, which he'd just taken in the store. FML
Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML
Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML
Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML
Today, I was showing my boss a picture on my phone. I didn’t expect her to take my phone from my hand and continue to flip through photos. I anxiously motioned for her to give my phone back, only to realize she had already swiped to my nude picture. FML
Today, in the break room at work, I was looking through my email on my phone about my Amazon orders. There was a suggested product that looked like a dildo. I turned around to see my boss behind me glancing at my phone. FML
Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, some guy sent a dickpic to my phone. I was disgusted, and wanted to find out who did it. I called the police, and they matched the number to my stepfather's new phone. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
you couldn't just look through their contacts instead..?
Shorty_Shaza 5
Why do some guys always take pictures of their penis?
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Comments (139)
canadian_ftw 8
you couldn't just look through their contacts instead..?
Jackbagger_fml 0
alot of people look through their pictures to identify even the police do it
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
the police do it because they're nosey sons of bitches just like OP. seriously the most logical option is to call the home contact or any contact really. don't disguise your voyeurism as good samaritanism.
Bobissmall 13
The police should be allowed... if anything i'd just have put it in a draw or something, and left it to see if it would ring, then answer.
z620 0
#1, why would they be in their own contacts?
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
41, home contact...
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
or "mom""dad" even anyone. they should all be able to identify who's phone it is.
ElishaxMelxKym 0
Hot ;-) But it is there phone, you shouldn't of been looking at it and left it on the lost and found or w.e.
TempestJones 0
Most places (and people) would have just turned it in a lost an found spot and maybe answered it if it rang... but only a nosy person would go through the pics...
brightnite 0
okokok guys. Are you telling me you don't have your id, phone #, and home address photoed into your phone. Thats the first thing your spposed to to!
msphatb00ty 0
no I have a I.C.E. contact. you know In Case of Emergency...
runtodarkness 0
actually I didn't have the space when I wrote this one up to explain that I thought i might recognize the owner of the phone as a guy who had scammed me a week earlier. I wasn't around when the phone had been lost.
nswan 5
just try calling some of their contacts next time
kawigurl 0
nswan....ur effin hott dude!
Kiill3rQu33n16 0
how can you determine if they're hot by just looking at their abs? they might have a ****** up face or something. :P
kalliomgbbq 0
you have a hot body. :)
ElishaxMelxKym 0
77, yours pics are from google she's a famous scene model, poser.
chuchurocket 4
you're so hot
wadthe 1
you're ******* hot...... nice abs
ieatbebies 0
from taking a pic only of your abbs im going to say your a dick
RainbowMaster88 5
Oh my gosh!! You're freaking sexy!!! Nice abs hunk! ;)
msphatb00ty 0
exactly #1 u know call home or the last # they called... I'm just sayin.
Zitho 0
Do you work at Subway? Your uniform is similar.
BigBagel 0
what if their contacts are all weird names. like if the contacts are bitch, asshole, retard, **** buddy, etc.
chili10 18
88 my friends phone is like that. It was so confusing.
Shorty_Shaza 5
Why do some guys always take pictures of their penis?
DaemonSadi 0
ego trip.
RedPillSucks 33
Worse, it might not be theirs....
Falcon_My_Life 0
cause it makes me feel bad ass
Maniac_Penguin 0
I don't... :)
ubetrwatchBN 5
Why do girls take pictures of themselves in mirrors? Some things are just mysteries.
dt520 4
still beats the duckface pics some chicks never get over taking...
deemahn 3
cause we can
noctali_Solstice 18
I never have...
amerwin 3
How hard is it to use your head when you fine someone's belongings? instead you gave him the shaft.
thejacl 0
zing!
cabbitt 0
I see what you did there...
Soreeyeah 17
Lol.
imhowie 2
YDI. who looks at the pictures to figure out who owns a phone???
Kanzy_fml 0
their? oh so now the hone is owned by multiple people?
alwaysandforever_fml_fml 0
The word "their" was used correctly.
im2cool2fml 0
you would have to use "his" otherwise it's incorrect. their is multiple people and his/his or her is singular. go to school dumb ass
dekota87 0
the word "their" is not used as a plural it's used to show ownership of a specific item in this case the cell phone. so yes it was used properly
ImaginaryFoe 1
Apparently the penis in question belongs to more than one person as well. #50, "their" is the possesive form of "they". It always refers to more than one person.
urcadox_fml 6
I'm french so maybe I'm wrong but I think it was used properly as we don't know if the phone's proprietor is male or female (maybe the photo was sent to their phone and not taken by it), we can't use his or her. Just as you can use they for one person when you don't know if "they" are a male or a female.
yanikame 0
Wouldn't 'their' also be used as a singular possesive word that doesn't identify gender? I'm fairly certain that in this day and age that you don't need to be a guy to have a penis (physically part of your body or as a personal play thing).
ImDaBoss 0
61, I don't think you could be more wrong if you tried. Have a nice day though. :)
Freeze_fml 17
"A single person, previously mentioned, but of unknown or irrelevant gender" en.wiktionary.org/wiki/they
hoolie06 0
http://www.lsu.edu/faculty/jpullia/subjectpronounagreement.htm If gender is unknown, it is proper to use "his or her," not "their."
Freeze_fml 17
I'm not defending the credibility behind Wiktionary, just showing that somewhat known sources tend to disagree. I would go with "his or her" anyway.
FMLandurstoo 9
go **** yourselves grammar Nazis
EvilDave 13
Neither Wikipedia nor Wikitionary is a reliable source. @63 You really need to go back to grammar school and learn proper English. "Their" is the possessive case of the word "they". "They" is the plural pronoun for "he", "she", and "it". "Their" is always plural, and you are, apparently, always ignorant and stupid.
joa76 3
Okay, I'll acknowledge that wikipedia isn't the best source, but how about the dictionary? Definition number 2: "used after an indefinite singular antecedent in place of the definite masculine form his or the definite feminine form her." In other words, it is, in fact, correct to use "their" as a singular when referring to a person of unknown or unspecified gender.
ImDaBoss 0
I'm guessing you meant #64, as opposed to 63? If such is the case, I am only enjoying this more. How someone could think so strongly that something is right when it isn't just baffles me. Perhaps YOU should go back to school. Or are you still in high school? Are you like 12 or something?
khamu_fml 0
to #64 / #118... you really should pick up a book or dictionary or repead gradeschool before you go telling others that they are wrong. their and any other form of they is ALWAYS and ONLY plural. his, hers, one's, its are the singular words. again, you couldn't be more wrong with your reasoning or accusations.
Freeze_fml 17
Read comment #112.
khamu_fml 0
Read a book. There are plenty of unreliable sources on the internet. You can find hundreds agreeing with your usage and millions agreeing with ours. Take a middle school, high school, or college grammar course and you might be able to better understand how the English language works.
Freeze_fml 17
You are a dumbass. Comment #112 specifically stated that they were quoting the definition from a dictionary. A dictionary, surprisingly, happens to be a book. I'd suggest taking a middle school or high school reading class to help your reading disability. I'll humor you and take the exact definition from my Oxford American College Dictionary. "2 [singular] used to refer to a person of unspecified sex: ask a friend if they could help." Here's a segment from the usage paragraph located below. "... in view of the growing acceptance of they and its obvious practical advantages, they is used in this dictionary in many cases where he would have been used formerly." Which means the Oxford American College Dictionary considers it as an accepted definition and also uses it in "many cases" throughout the book. I'm going to believe a 1600+ paged college dictionary knows more about the English language than you do. Nice try, pal.
ImDaBoss 0
Yay. Someone who is able to use a dictionary. :)
ImDaBoss 0
khamu, perhaps you should actually open a dictionary and look at the definition before blatantly saying I'm wrong. Just saying.
ImpendingRiot 0
here comes the grammar nazi!!! haha I bet u did NAZI that coming
Somemadbloke1 1
well the only alternative is to have sex with all your co-workkers in order to identify him, that is the Christian way :)
collegegirl87 0
It was a customer's phone.
unidentified_sta 5
Because customers are coworkers nowadays.
Somemadbloke1 1
my bad soz, see where trying to be funny gets you?
RedPillSucks 33
Because its a good excuse to have sex with your Co-workers. Even those of the same gender.
kikibisweet 0
You shouldnt have been looking through their phone. Just wait till they try to claim it. ydi
WiseGuy79 14
Be prepared to throughly inspect and compare each and every customers penis to properly identify the owner haha
unlocker 0
hahaha lol rofl lmfao roflcopter hahahah I LIKE PENIS IN THE MOUTH