Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML
Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML
Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML
Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML
Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML
Today, I coughed so hard that I tore an intercostal muscle in my ribs. Now I can't cover my cough, as I have to cross my arms against my ribcage to stop the pain. FML, FML, F Me All Day Long (sung to the tune of Jingle Bells). FML
Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
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Top comments
jayceejaco 15
Hold your breath for 30 seconds
Odis12 11
Damaging? Sounds like a doctors visit is in order. Ever heard of a cracked diaphragm? Yeah I can only imagine the pain you're feeling.
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Comments (79)
jayceejaco 15
Hold your breath for 30 seconds
EyeOfTheSt0rm 10
That doesn't help whatsoever.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
It'll help with the pain OP has when breathing.
jayceejaco 15
Pssh it does for me, it doesn't hurt to try.
daniel_dd31 13
Then she passes out after not being able to regain her breath. 15- In this case it does hurt to try.
StompinOnCrayons 15
Yay ! The first of the useless home remedies ! "eat only fish for a fortnight " "dance to smooth jazz" "bathe in your mother's tears" "cover yourself in chicken blood and - " Just exaggerated examples. Well, exaggerated for now
Genuine_G 8
The best instant cure is a spoonful of sugar.
PenguinBitch 44
@1. You are correct. The best remedy for getting rid of hiccups is holding your breath for 30 seconds.....and die. At least the pain goes away too. XP
speckledots 29
Is everyone unaware of the fact that even if you do hold your own breath and somehow manage to pass out from it that you won't die. When you pass out your body begins to breath on its own again.
Sports_guy3 28
Which would bring OP pain.
RedPillSucks 33
Not while they're unconscious. So the trick to be unconscious as much as possible. Hold still, while I get my bat.
eclipse1525 6
Breathe in through your mouth then swallow twice and breathe out through your nose and they will gone (I know this won't help OP because he can't breathe too well)
FML64128 7
Stand up, bend over, put your head between your legs (upside down), and swallow about three small mouthfuls of your saliva. Instant cure, looks weird though.
incoherentrmblr 22
#75, If you're not allergic to nuts that is...
miz_kamakazi 11
Ouch!!!
fewwordsperson 6
How did you fall to get hurt that badly?
Dracoboxer357 36
3- I'm imagining a swan dive on a fire hydrant would about do it. ;P
crazytwinsmom 25
Falling on the end of a ski pole, happened to my Mom.
Sitting_Ducki 8
Something just had to hit her chest directly
Redoxx_fml 22
Drink a lot of water
EyeOfTheSt0rm 10
Damn, that really sucks man. FYL
Odis12 11
Damaging? Sounds like a doctors visit is in order. Ever heard of a cracked diaphragm? Yeah I can only imagine the pain you're feeling.
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
This reminded me of how I cracked multiple ribs last year. I almost teared up just at the thought of it, can't even imagine a cracked sternum!
AnOriginalName 19
I broke a rib and didn't even know about it 'til a year later, when I went in for chest x-rays to check for pneumonia. I'm my own worst enemy. Oh, right. The diaphragm is a muscle which helps you to breathe. So cracking a diaphragm would take a quite a feat of strength or heroics, I'd imagine.
Zebediabolical 45
I've heard of many types of cracked diaphragms. Just never in relation to a person.
1947Chevy 17
I'm still sure that I cracked mine about a year ago. I just refuse to go to the doctor and have them look at it. My chest still hurts to this day
NandaPanda 22
54) same way men can fracture their penis. I promise it can happen.
Zomg_Okay 27
52 - Your chest has been paining you for a year now and you "refuse" to go to a doctor? Are you contending for the Darwin Award or something?
Odis12 11
Cracking or "breaking" is possible in any anatomical muscle in the human body. Muscles can be ripped, torn, cracked, broken, swollen, shriveled, and even blown. For those that don't know, the diaphragm is a rather soft muscle, ergo why it is protected by the whole of the sternum, save for around one square inch of area right between the ribs. To put it simply.. OP needs to go to a doctor. A check up isn't expensive, and it'd be worth it if you don't want to live like 52 up there.
chosha_fml 27
Ah, the universe and its little jokes.
AnOriginalName 19
And sometimes those little jokes make the universe come across as a bit of a dick.
Phoebe_Buffay 14
Take 7 small sips of water. Works for me every time
Odis12 11
How often does this happen to you?
annie_nk 23
Hold your breath. That supposedly helps cute hiccups and since breathing is painful anyway, it's a win-win.
Nyx_fml 23
Woah... if these are cute hiccups, I wonder what the ugly ones are like.
annie_nk 23
I meant cure lol. But I'd image cute hiccups are the little mousey ones and the ugly hiccups are the ones that could wake up a house.
silverhuntress 4
Ouch!!! Hold your breath for as long as you can and take a big gulp of water without breathing. That always works for me!