Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, I clogged the toilet at my boyfriend's house. I couldn't fix it and was too ashamed to say anything. I can't handle confrontation, so I had to just sit there as my boyfriend's brother ended up getting blamed, then grounded for "lying" about it not being his fault. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
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Top comments
PenguinBitch 44
Every poops. Don't feel bad, unless he's the type that thinks it's wrong when women fart and poop.
zombieslayer83 19
You must be down in the dumps.
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Comments (111)
edgarhaasenbary 8
I love a woman who can take a big ol dumparookski
maggySNP 12
As Frankie Boyle says "you know you love somebody when you can hear their plops on the toilet and still cuddle them"
Late_night83 25
Dumb.
Erick_lawl 6
Speaking of toilets, Japan has really badass toilets! I would love to own one of those!
Reon_fml 4
At least it was at your house and not his. Less awkward xD
Satoaoi 13
lol it must be hilarious having parents that himilate there kids in front of ppl
icepick23 12
You silly person, girls don't poop!
bubble_burst 16
sur·rep·ti·tious :/ˌsərəpˈtiSHəs/ Adjective; Kept secret, esp. because it would not be approved of. Why would your pooping be not approved of? Thats what happens if you hold shit for days... You get piles, hemorrhoids and clogged toilets.
Melly32 6
This is amazing
bmgt 4
Your Mom is pretty flippin' tactful. Payback? Now you need to clog up the shitter at her work and blame it on her.