Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, I clogged the toilet at my boyfriend's house. I couldn't fix it and was too ashamed to say anything. I can't handle confrontation, so I had to just sit there as my boyfriend's brother ended up getting blamed, then grounded for "lying" about it not being his fault. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
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Top comments
PenguinBitch 44
Every poops. Don't feel bad, unless he's the type that thinks it's wrong when women fart and poop.
zombieslayer83 19
You must be down in the dumps.
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Comments (111)
MistaBlista 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That was disrespectful of your boyfriend to say that.
meow_jess 11
It's the mom that said that, not the boyfriend..
melbournearsenal 18
I think you need to re-read the Fml 14
WcED 8
Wow can you not read? #14
PrincessPesa 20
Thanks a lot, mom! Well. It happens. It really could have gone much worse; most guys are pretty cavalier about poo situations. At least you didn't shit your pants, right?
imagineapc 11
My boyfriend thinks it's gross when I fart. He had a former girlfriend who thought it was funny to fart all the time, and apparently the smell was awful. So understandably, he has a hard being attracted to a fart machine. He knows that I poo of course, but I don't go around broadcasting it.
buddy51 23
If he "has a hard" then I think he's attracted....
jmcgee17 20
At least he knows her pipes work well now... No one like it when the pipes are backed up.
Edo369 8
You're ******* nasty.
perdix 31
Coulda been worse. She could have led him to the clogged crapper and said, "See what my daughter can do?"
BlowinChronic 18
So as he was unloading his trunk, you were aswell. Nothing to be ashamed of, happens to the best of us.
FlyingPie 17
Sounds like your plan for a good introfuction went down the drain. Let's hope you can wipe the slate clean.
Enslaved 38
Surreptitious shit? What's that like? I think I need to eat more fibre. ):
Pleonasm 36
You have to be on your tippy-toes to have a surreptitious shit. That or put some toilet paper down before blowing a load, it mutes the splash.
Enslaved 38
Shoot! I have a Bose radio in my restroom blasting an Avenged Sevenfold CD to drown out the sounds. Butt sadly many times my grunts are in vain. ):
candyland13 6
That really stinks. Aha get it?
emilyjgraham 34
No. Please explain!
kevsandy303 12
47) Well its obvious: Skunks stink, and skunks are mammals, and so are giraffes, and giraffes have long necks, and so do guitars, and guitars play music, and today's music is shitty, and shit is what clogs toilets, and that's what OP did. How do you not see it?
outoftown 27
Translation: "If you want to use the toilet here, unplug it yourself. Her shit is your problem."
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Seriously though, Op should know how to unclog a toilet.. The only time I've ever seen toilets get clogged is if no one flushes or someone uses waaaay too much toilet paper. So I kinda think Op deserves it, and should have just spent 12 seconds plunging it herself, and no one would have had to know. But who am I to judge, that's still a shitty thing to have happen :P
vencku 13
43 - I have the same feeling. There's been several FML clogging situations. I've never seen that happen. How do you clog a toilet? Does the rest of the world use some sort of weak version with small pipes and no flushing power? It's annoying if the toilet is straight out broken, though.