Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jlt93 0
And your daughter is how old?
Jacobt24 19
That wasn't a good hiding place to start with. It's not even hidden.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
debbster7 18
Sounds like somebody probably looks like chuckie right now
mgon93 0
Lol well isn't she nice! And tht lighter wasn't even hidden
mgon93 0
Lol well isn't she nice! And tht lighter wasn't even hidden
kathylovesfmls 5
your daughter has an amusing sense of humor..(; jk that suckss
paperheart85 3
well on the brighter note if you wanted a summer hair cut... You shall have one. And your baby girl just modernized the little match girl story to the little lighter girl.
JANe_WAz_HERe 0
FAKE
DankestM112 0
I would spank the shit out of that child.
XxKawaiiMomoxX 5
at least your freinds didn't do it to you at the bus stop! T_T they did it to me
aPieceOfFruit 16
Been there...... I wish I was kidding...
Dlauver138 2
See kids; this is why you shouldn't smoke.