Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for two months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, my mom accused me of stealing $350 from her. She didn't accuse my unemployed brother, who just bought a brand new iPhone. Even after he confessed to her, she thought he was covering for me. My brother has a criminal record for theft. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML
Today, I discovered my own mother has been stealing money from me for months when I opened my savings box to find it empty. FML
Today, my mom stole my holiday money because she found it “near her bag” in my kitchen and “assumed it was hers” and she must have “forgotten it was in there all this time.” I demanded it back, but she’d already spent it on hair, nails, shoes, and a date night with dad. She won’t pay me back either. FML
Today, my grandma calls me, accusing me of theft. I was home all day and watching Orange Is The New Black. When I asked what I stole, she said her car keys. I don’t even have my license. I told her to look in her purse. She found them. FML
Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML
Today, my mother "borrowed" money from my stash to help pay for her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowed to go on. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
laya_fml 26
Your mother trusts her boyfriend because she loves him, but she doesn't trust you. It kind of sounds like your mom just told you that she doesn't love you.
misspulkadot24 17
Some people fall head over heels in love. Or just fall on their heads in love. And crack their ******* skulls...in love. Either way.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
perdix 31
Tell the boyfriend to give you double the missing amount of money or you'll tell your mom that he hit on you. Stopping a thief by extortion is rough justice.
thatescalated 3
Unfortunately I feel the mother still wouldn't trust her about that either...
perdix 31
#17, maybe, but does the boyfriend want to call her bluff? It might be worth it to pay off the brat and keep fleecing the mom.
thatescalated 3
Very true. Either way this situation just sucks.
bettyboop428 24
That sounds like justice, until the boyfriend steals the payoff money from the mom also and the child gets blamed for that too.
Sandman366 6
Sounds like she could try saying she was hit and mom would ignore it. Telling the mother the guy is cheating on her could work though. (And add the condition that he says he was the thief.)
Jessj958 19
I'm sorry your mom is being that way OP. I don't know why a mother wouldn't trust her own children over a stranger! She will feel like shit after he screws her over.
Bibliovore 26
After he screws her over? If it's actually he who's been taking the money (versus, say, someone at the mother's workplace or a different friend of hers or whatever), he already has been, so it's more like when she finally realizses that's the case.
Jessj958 19
Thanks for that correction! I meant to say when she realizes it was him, or as you pointed out, anyone else.
DudeEvil 22
Ooh, pick me, pick mee!!
kurodansei 16
Homewrecker!
sarah6786 14
The mom didn't accuse her of having sex with him...
TenaciousBerg 3
But how old are you?
mfischer 17
I'm gonna go with around 25. I don't know why, that just seems right.
Kpopluva 11
I think the FML stated she was 25 years old but I'm going to go ahead and assume she's lying so I guess she's around fifty
CharresBarkrey 16
Biggest facepalm I have ever seen.
Michael_92 20
I think the real question here is how old are you?
CharresBarkrey 16
What's even better, is this is their first comment. So, it's safe to assume they essentially made a profile to ask that question...
TenaciousBerg 3
Wow, tough crowd tonight. Just tried a bit of British humour. Failed.
mimiminx 23
I'm British and I can safely say that your comment was not an example of 'British humour'. Sorry old chum.
relapse22 7
Mother of the year award goes to OP's mom.
fresh247 10
wow time for a new mom!
cheertrombonist 9
Yes, let's all go to the mom store! Trade one mom, get one free! Nah...that's not real. Not real at all.
chelsearenaeee 16
That's when you go Parent Trap on her ass
Calingaladha 21
But finding a twin on such short notice could be a bitch.
Trooth 13
I thought you were going to be a teenager. What mother accuses their adult daughter of stealing from their purse? She's got more issues than just trusting her boyfriend that she barely knows. Fyl
Bludmagnus 13
That is called D-E-N-I-A-L. Your mother has WACK priorities.....
spliit_fml 8
Your mother has issues.