Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started daydreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone came up to me and said, "Try not to be so obvious." Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML
Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "He died" and walked off. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She then reminded me that I was at his funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glanced over and saw my brother's hot friend, who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then heard my mom say, "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
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Top comments
hannaaaahr 33
at least he called you beautiful?
illabye 0
Look on the bright side... You'll make a lovely corpse.
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Comments (184)
immaMonsta 8
I don't see why you're surprised by this. We're born, we live, we die. Did you think you were going to live forever?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yes, if you visited Shangri la before. See you in the next apocalypse.
torbey 23
22- I was simply referring to the above comment. Meaning, if I was that person, I wouldn't be worried :)
TheGreasyHobo 2
Run.
highway_unicorn7 5
Yeah.. cuz random old men at Starbucks are always right...
EternalHatred 3
Of course they are! It's Starbucks! And Old men! Sarcasm.
2dog 15
Maybe he'll rape you first!!!
FMLKitten 15
You say this as if you want OP to get raped.
2dog 15
It's sarcasm, sweetheart
torbey 23
well you aren't very good at being sarcastic then.
itsme1321 3
...Because up until he said that, you thought you were immortal...?
EternalHatred 3
Doesn't everyone? Same thing with You Only Live Once! No one ever knew!! XD
itsme1321 3
Yea, not so much :/
jelly713 19
Don't take him serious, just avoid contact with him.
highway_unicorn7 5
Ok you dumbass.First of all, the Myan Calender didn't count leap years, so the world would've ended already.Second of all, scientist dug up more pieces of the Myan Calender since then that date way past 2012. Finally, WHAT MAKES EVERYONE THINK THE MYANS ARE RIGHT? Think.
TheJester12 15
On the bright side , it's more than likely he's going to kick the bucket first. Oh senile Grandpas in Starbucks , how I love you :)
namyo 13
43- it's because we haven't already lived through 2 or 3 end of the world situations. Y2k?