Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started daydreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone came up to me and said, "Try not to be so obvious." Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML
Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "He died" and walked off. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She then reminded me that I was at his funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glanced over and saw my brother's hot friend, who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then heard my mom say, "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
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Top comments
hannaaaahr 33
at least he called you beautiful?
illabye 0
Look on the bright side... You'll make a lovely corpse.
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Comments (184)
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I hope he's not a clairvoyant or anything.
Leslier_fml 4
That's scary! Watch out just in case...
torbey 23
well, hate to break it to you but we're all going to die at one point or another.
Nbrandwine 7
Somebody jumep to conclusions a little fast?
xxmollyxx 25
He was probably just trying to cheer up his friend. Maybe the old man's friend was feeling depressed about being old himself, or that his beauty or handsomeness or whatever had faded, and the old man just wanted to point out that it will happen to all of us. Don't take it as a threat :)
Old_Iron_Sides 6
That's exactly what I was going to say! :)
ebonyirony 29
Well everybody dies. Maybe the person he was talking to has a terminal disease. Or they're both old. And needed to come to terms with it. You know who doesn't die? Ash ketchum. He's always ten. Try being ten forever.
Enslaved 38
Hey, Happy Birthday! You're going to DIE!!!! JK-- except the BD part is true.(:
ebonyirony 29
92- haha thanks. And I thought of the song with the lyrics"every breath brings me one closer to my last"
Enslaved 38
I thought of the song GNR "Welcome to the Jungle". (:
ebonyirony 29
"You know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby. You're gonna die. " Actually, some dude said that to slash and axl when they arrived in some city. They put it in a song. (the saga of Gun N' Roses book)
torbey 23
I wouldn't be worried. That's like being worried that we're all going to die at the end of 2012...
airforce987 20
What. The. ****. Who the **** actually says shit like that, let alone in public? I swear to God, this site has destroyed any faith in humanity I had.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
He's a fortune teller. Or you escaped some horrible disaster and now death is coming back for you in the order you were supposed to die in. Just a thought.
FMLKitten 15
Or maybe he just knows that in the end we all die? I mean, seriously, we're all gonna die whether we like it or not....
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Way to make me depressed, cat. *grabs the Jack Daniels*
NothernNightmare 18
Maybe the dude is really into reenacting Final Destination movies??
skyeyez9 25
He may be one of those "psychics" that claims to know when someone is going to die soon.