Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started daydreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone came up to me and said, "Try not to be so obvious." Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML
Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "He died" and walked off. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She then reminded me that I was at his funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glanced over and saw my brother's hot friend, who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then heard my mom say, "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
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Top comments
hannaaaahr 33
at least he called you beautiful?
illabye 0
Look on the bright side... You'll make a lovely corpse.
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Comments (184)
EternalHatred 3
Run. Hide.
SataN201 0
oh, what does he know. dumb old geezer
moonboobs 4
10 out of 10 people do. You have nothing to worry about.
Jamialia 5
And tell him you'll take him with you
xcarxcrashx 9
Seriously 53 admit you were wrong
notepie 6
**** that old fart. He is going to die to!!!
supportcommand 17
Consider yourself lucky. At least you got to see your stalker before you go missing. Make up some posters quickly.
letmehavemytea 21
I'm not sure how anyone could say you deserved this one...on a plus side, he called you beautiful!
annalily5 28
Unless he put a time on it (ie"She's gonna die soon/today/tomorrow") you shouldn't worry. He was either having a rant on the futility of life(All beauty and happiness comes to an ugly end) or was saying how we are ultimately all equal(Young and beautiful, or old and ugly, doesn't matter, the reaper will take us all in time). I've had plenty of both conversations, most end with me or a friend pointing to random people say "S/he is going to die". It's just the truth, doesn't mean we plan to help you along.
wironandine 8
Starbucks cures rough days?
tarickman 13
Yes yes it does. Well it does when the staff looks like they do at my Starbucks.