Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
Today, I got so self-conscious about weight gain that I got paranoid about how much my Castle Crashers character was eating to heal. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I play video games. No, not that I play too many video games or have an addiction to video games. Just that I play them, period. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, it was supposed to be a big date day for my girlfriend and I. She really loves a specific video game, so I did what I thought was special on it. I learned the hard way that doing so ruined the entire day for her over the video game. FML
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Top comments
misspulkadot24 17
You have a girlfriend, AND you are an avid gamer?! How in the hell? Teach us your ways!!
slayertack 19
No Twix either, you are truly ******.
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Comments (107)
nnnope 26
I don't see the correlation between a gaming obsession and saying nice things to your girlfriend?
MidnaLink 35
that... makes two of us...
cheertrombonist 9
If he said something she didn't want to hear, she might have turned off the game, resulting in him losing his gameplay...saving it is the only way to prevent gaming to be all for naught. Then again, no gameplay is for nothing.. This is probably a reoccurring problem, so that's why it is an instinct for him.
klutz44 28
Actually I think OP was saying that he knew he could potentially say the wrong thing so his first instinct was to "save his game", but he was dealing with a real life situation, not a game.
nnnope 26
Thank you 42...your reply was the only one that made sense. @__@
cheertrombonist 9
Oh, now I see! Sorry good sirs and madams. My apologies for deceiving the public!
EpicSquishii 21
"Bitch, you knew what those jeans looked like on you when you bought them. If they don't fit anymore then the answer is an obvious big, fat, jiggly yes." If I was a man I'd be forever alone
Eluveitie 9
If you said things like THAT, then yes, you'd be forever alone.
EpicSquishii 21
Yes that was the point I was making. Reiteration is fun isn't it?
GingerNinja7 17
Aren't video games supposed to make your decision making skills better? Not worse?
Mizzaroo 13
It depends. Does always ending up as a Sith Lord count as making good life choices?
charvisioku 22
It depends... I usually intentionally make the stupidest decision available just to make things interesting. But yeah I suppose they do have the potential to level up - uhh... I mean IMPROVE... your decision-making skills.
farewellthebeast 8
Who doesn't love a good loaded question? However next time come up from behind kiss her neck tell her you love her. Note this should work if however it's level 99 and she's that dragon with high defense your screwed just run no one will judge.
Calingaladha 21
You're supposed to save BEFORE you get to the boss. Yeesh...amateur :P
sassy2085 16
And the right answer to the " does my butt look fat in these jeans" is???
kittytub 12
you're ****** either way. say no, and you imply her butt isn't curvy or big enough. say yes, and you say she's fat. its a dumb question. =/
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
just run from the room when the question comes.
spiritfang11237 16
OK here is your one time use get out of jail free card: "my dear, that is a very difficult question to answer. if i say no, you will not believe me and accuse me of lying to you. if for some reason they did and i chose to be stupidly honest and say yes, you would dump me. the real question here is why you are asking me this. do you need reassurance of my desire for you? how am i to answer a question you are not saying. to be honest i find you sexy no matter what you are wearing. so to answer your question, you look gorgeous in that outfit but not as sexy as when you are naked." i thank damn lol for showing me the comic strip with this gem in it.
zamkiller03 5
Tell her the trust and say I love u the way u r.. this didn't change anything I look at u.. If u r a gamer, u should know how to play with ur words..
Eivana 37
Just say no. Always say no to the fat question, no matter what.
KingCeltic77 18
Answer wrong, you'll need the "invincibility" cheat code.
kat33_fml 7
Am I the only girl who would never ask my boyfriend that? I can look for myself if I look fat and it's a no win answer for him anyways. I think people who ask that are just looking to get into a fight or are "testing" their partners. Both of which are just messed up
yoursucklives 36
i never asked that question too, because i don't have to fish for compliments or whatever girls are trying to accomplish with that question and i also don't buy clothes that make me look fat.