Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my supervisor locked me in the women's bathroom as I was cleaning it. I heard the owner scolding him, so I waited for the door to open, thinking he got in trouble. It wasn't until I heard the front gate locking that I realized I'm staying the night in the bathroom. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML
Today, I waited for the single bathroom for a very long time. I finally knocked on the door and found no one was in there. FML
Today, since my parents always told me that I was welcome to come home whenever I want or need, I decided to stop by. They'd changed the locks and wouldn't let me in. FML
Today, I found myself locked in a bathroom for the second time in my life. This time at least I was at home. I live alone. I had to break the window on the shower door and crawl out. Now, I need to crawl in/out to shower, brush my teeth and more. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I decided to use the disabled toilet in work to get a little extra privacy while I did my business. The cleaners who unlocked the door from the outside and barged in on me were nice and waited until I finished to apologize and explain there were complaints the door had been locked for days. FML
Today, I was excited by the thought of the bathroom in my rental being replaced after the plumber advised that the leak can't be easily fixed. Instead, the owner has decided to fully renovate and is kicking me out. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Look for hidden cameras. I can almost guarantee there will be at least two, probably across from the toilet and in the shower. Don't ask how I know.
Nyx_fml 23
I bet he just wants to make sure you never run out of toilet paper while you're in the bathroom. That has to be it, right?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
DocBastard 40
Look for hidden cameras. I can almost guarantee there will be at least two, probably across from the toilet and in the shower. Don't ask how I know.
\ 28
If DocBastard can find Coke bottles lodged in people's rectums, I'm sure basic cameras will be the least of OP's worries.
tsent8 15
Don't play stupid doc. You know the same way I do.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
gotta monitor and make sure no one steals your stash.
RedPillSucks 33
Damn it doc. Now I've got to move the cameras.
tannara 12
Idk, if I was OP I'd get the **** outta there asap
tonjean1 5
Doc probably watches Law and Order. That's the first thing I thought when I got done reading.
AntiPrude 26
Don't forget in the toilet bowl itself, OP's landlord might have a fetish
skilova4lifezzz 19
Time to find a new apartment..
MrsDruidess 23
yes move, move quickly!!
kee_breezy32 34
#2: or change the locks on the bathroom door. but it'd probably be best to move and find another apartment.
byron17 26
Does anyone else realise that this guy is from Belize!??!?! (Breaking Bad reference) Say hi to Mike please!!!
olpally 33
That's just ****** up! I'd just go to a different place to go to the bathroom.
niallo 23
Go to the bathroom on his front step and tell him you couldn't wait. On the other hand, that might turn him on. Better move.
Bloink 25
I'd strongly suggest moving out
Nyx_fml 23
I bet he just wants to make sure you never run out of toilet paper while you're in the bathroom. That has to be it, right?
tsent8 15
Sounds like a good way to feed your fetish. I should try that.
Enslaved 38
Just for kicks, I'd grunt like I was dying-- even if I was only washing my hands. :P
olpally 33
That's very clever! Just freak him out! Hahaha.
ohSNAPyall 27
A person who wants to stand outside your door every time you use the bathroom would probably be into it.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Anyone else see "Put the lotion on the skin." in his future.
Sweetpea22 14
I think you're the only one
\ 28
"IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE ******* BASKET!"
Blackcatluck 19
"It puts lotion on it's skin!" Quote it right plz.
mk8833 9
PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET. yeah it's definitely in his future
skatoolaki 24
Future? I see it in his past.
capthigh 16
Sounds like it's moving time to me
perdix 31
I wish there were adjectives that were related to excretory functions I could use to describe the situation!
truesarrif 33
This is beyond a shitty situation I'm afraid
ryanthecheeseguy 18
I applaud you for finding a way to use the cliche pun and not get down voted.
HortonThelephant 15
#30 Sometimes creativity with adjectives can pay off here. Back in the "height" of the "well that escalated quickly" comments, I got a few thumbs for saying that it heightened expeditiously. People like variety from the normal cliché. Be creative and thoughtful people! Feel free to down vote that...
perdix 31
#35, I hope you mean ex-cliché. That seems to be the dominant template these days.
CobraLazerFace 21
Pedrix is breaking the FML meta.