Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to work during Black Friday, after not being invited to my family's Thanksgiving dinner. FML
Today, Thanksgiving Day and I have no family to spend with, all my friends are busy or out of town, and the only person actively talking to me is a random guy on Bumble. FML
Today, my toilet broke. Yesterday, the shower filled up with sludge. I have ten people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm stuck at my minimum wage job, listening to people who make twice as much as me complain that, "they only get the week off for Thanksgiving." FML
Today, I’m going to have two Thanksgivings. One at my parents' for the first half of the day, then the other at my house. I let my boyfriend know beforehand about it, as well as my sister. She then told my mom about my plan and next thing I know, I got a phone call from mom that turned into her yelling at me for not staying all day. FML
Today, I was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. I dressed and stuffed the turkey, popped it in the oven and sent a mass text out to my family about how amazing it would be. Everyone arrived, we began making plates of food when I checked the turkey, and realized I never even turned on the oven. FML
Today, after being unemployed for over four months, I got a call from a company I've wanted to work for for over 2 years. After they were about to set up an interview, they called me by a different name. After correcting them, they hung up on me. Turns out they had the wrong number. FML
Today, it's Thanksgiving and I've spent the last few days imploring my husband not to antagonize my Trump-loving family by talking about the fact that they didn't look into what tariffs were at the time, and now they might have to close their business. Wish me luck… FML
Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML
Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML
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Top comments
dramaelf 37
I honestly saw a guy named Mickey Mouse in my local phonebook. You could have it a lot worse.
vcapelo 19
Don't chicken out and remove your number!
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Comments (87)
dudeimmadoc 9
berkey , birkey, birky , burkey , durkee , jerky, kirkey , merkey, murky, pearcy , perkey , perky , pirkey , purkey , quirky , shirkey , sircy , sturkie, yerkey?
cryssycakesx3 23
I was thinking sturkie myself
w_introuble 25
I like Purkey! Hope that's her name =)
ManInTheMachine 20
You mean...Ben Sturkie?
Elpis4 7
I was thinking Takei, like George Takei.
johnpaisley 6
Those clever bastards why have I never thought of this
protected_by_9mm 4
if ur hot ill stuff u
buckdharma 38
Hello, Miss Turkey? Hello, I'm Mr. S. Top. My friend Mr. Celery, stalks. Once we find you old birds, we call our friend. He's a master baster. Please Miss Turkey, call me Stove...
perdix 31
Mulva? Gipple? Hest? Dolores!!!!
apu_nahasapeemap 10
I've always wondered why he never guessed Virginia.
apu_nahasapeemap 10
Aretha
DJisHere11 19
Well, that's not gravy.
anonymous_kenie 7
Just collect their credit card numbers and make it yourself.
wunderbar1 9
This reminds me of Turk from Scrubs on TV. So... What is your name?
Breegotcake 14
*googles "names that sound like turkey"* I wish op would tell us their name because I am really curious now. Lols
kurodansei 16
I'm gonna go with Berkely
TheBrochure 22
#64 - Think of it from all of these creeps' (or those who are just looking for a good time on Thanksgiving) perspectives: do you really find it plausible that any number of people will be looking in the phone book (the amount of people that use those anymore reduces the chance further) and thinking, "Berkely... Ya know, that name so closely resembles 'turkey' that I'm gonna call her and say something clever... I know! *snaps* I'll ask if I can stuff her!"
chosha_fml 27
Oh that's a thigh-slapper! /eyeroll/ Next they'll be telling you not to gobble gobble down your lunch.