Today, I was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. I dressed and stuffed the turkey, popped it in the oven and sent a mass text out to my family about how amazing it would be. Everyone arrived, we began making plates of food when I checked the turkey, and realized I never even turned on the oven. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I volunteered to host Christmas dinner for the first time. I forgot to thaw the turkey. We ate sides, wine, and sat in disappointment while the turkey slowly defrosted in the sink. I'm never doing this again. FML
Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML
Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
Today, I learned to never put a just-bought-about-an-hour-ago-from-the-grocery-store frozen solid turkey in the turkey frying pot. My job’s banquet hall was burnt to a crisp and the fire department came. The Thanksgiving potluck was ruined. Oh, and I was fired. FML
Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML
Today, I’m learning to cook and invited friends over to prove I’m improving. I timed everything perfectly… or so I thought. I realized I’d never actually turned the oven on. We stood around a beautifully plated tray of room-temperature lasagna while I said, “It just needs… a bit more time.” Two hours later, we ordered pizza. FML
Today, my self-described "genius" cousin came to the conclusion that cooking the turkey in the oven for 8 hours would take too long, so he doubled the temperature to have it done in half the time. The fire department had to come to put out the fireball that was once my butterball. FML
Today, our freezer was full because my Dad got a free turkey from work. Thing is, my mom bought a pre-made ham, even though she knows my dad brings home a turkey every year. Why? Because of all the prep work that goes into making the turkey, including clearing out the kitchen, and throwing it into the oven. FML
Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML
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Top comments
kristinjeaneen 21
You didn't check the turkey or notice you couldn't smell it cooking?
chirstinap325 23
More time to bond with family! Four more hours of it or so..
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Comments (32)
chirstinap325 23
More time to bond with family! Four more hours of it or so..
kirby1964 20
Chin up, it is not that uncommon a mistake. Hope everyone understood, and yes you will hear about it every year from here on out.
RichardPencil 32
You're family is going to give up overrated holidays ... cold turkey.
dieders 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like things didn't really heat up.... Get it! God damn I'm good
XxDanno316xX 27
You basically liked your own comment. Great puns are great. Yours... not so much. :)
Lalala579121 28
Why would you want things to heat up with your family? This is thanksgiving dinner, not a **** video. (and no, you aren't)
TacoTheDank 27
You're really good at making bad plays-on-words.
TheMisfitScribe 17
I feel for you, this easily sounds like something I would do. I hope everything turned out alright and everyone was understanding.
RememberSchlitz 9
Pizza delivery is your friend. Couple pies, some garlic knots and wine.... That's-a Thanksgiving!
kristinjeaneen 21
You didn't check the turkey or notice you couldn't smell it cooking?
ArtistBlock 6
I asked my husband to check it periodically for me; since I had a whole bunch of other dishes to make and prep-- he told me he'd been checking it and it was doing sooooo good. Turns out he's lazy.
Lalala579121 28
Well I guess that's the last time you trust him with checking on your cooking.
gosh_mate 30
At least you still spent thanksgiving with your family! I hope they understood and there was other delicious food ready. :)
LyricaSilvan 30
It's okay, one year my sister forgot to even thaw out our turkey. We went to IHOP for dinner that year. :)
kitsuneluvuh 12
That seems to be an easier mistake to make than not noticing the oven's off with a raw turkey inside until it's time to eat, since turkeys take much longer to thaw than people would think: 1 day per 4 pounds inside the refrigerator.
LyricaSilvan 30
Fair point. And she did learn something from the experience. We still joke about it almost every year, and she laughs along because she knows she was a dork.
cootiequeen4444 11
Your FML handle could've been CookBlock...