Today, while at a fast food restaurant, I wanted to wash my hands. The restrooms were locked, so a cashier got the key and opened the men's restroom. This would have been fine if I wasn't a girl. FML

Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

Ewww!

Today, I went for a quick piss at a restaurant. As I walked out the door, a little kid in the bathroom yelled, "HEY MISTER, YOU FORGOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS!" Everyone in the dining room stared, including my date. FML

Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

Today, my boss informed me that it is now my responsibility to wash the dishes, since my co-workers are consistently too lazy to clean up after themselves. I have a bachelor's degree. Which I earned at the same university I now work at. FML