Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML
Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML
Today, I had to tell my 28-year-old roommate she needs to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She then said she’d try, as long as I try to put my dishes in the dishwasher. Those aren’t even on the same level. FML
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML
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Top comments
CommanderConcord 17
Well, have you been washing your hands?
may14th 26
Why doesn't she just come in the bathroom with you to make sure you do? Seems you don't have much privacy anyway.
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Comments (36)
may14th 26
Why doesn't she just come in the bathroom with you to make sure you do? Seems you don't have much privacy anyway.
CommanderConcord 17
Well, have you been washing your hands?
MetalxSoldier 26
Well that's not creepy at all...
Mathalamus 25
she has the right intentions... just the wrong approach.
anonymoususer070 17
If she's not your boss why does it matter? She's on the same level as you. I would tell her it's not her business. I really hope you do wash your hands though.
Popeye2341 13
Just get back at her by observing every tiny thing she does wrong, jot it down on a list, then corner her into the bathroom and command her to fix everything. That'll teach her!
kampuchea 6
what a psycho. maybe you should insist that she doesn't forget to take her meds from now on. for her sake. the thought of you not washing your hands after going to the bathroom shouldn't keep her up at night.
StickyPickles 33
Look at it this way. . . Of your office has a secret Santa thing at xmas time you know the perfect gift. Purell, perhaps a gallon of it
fpants2010 18
My co-worker did something similar to me yesterday. As soon as I was done with lunch (I eat at my desk, and she's on the other side of the room) she was like "how come you didn't like your lunch?" When she saw I was confused she said "well I was watching you, you avoided all the really cheesy parts" ...some people need to mind their own business!
xx000o 27
Next time after washing your hands don't dry them, walk up to her desk and dry your hands on her current project.
amsterdamgirl 20
I like it but it's a little over the top. just lean on her shoulder when you say something, lean back, say "oops I got something on your jacket. Oh well, (smile) you know..." and walk away
nanner6206 24
I was going to suggest wiping on her clothes, or toss the damp towels at her