Today, while wearing my Navy Dress White Uniform, I decided to stop and help this attractive girl who was not feeling well. Without warning, she blew chunks all over my "Whites". I have a uniform inspection later this afternoon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML
Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
My guess is you won't pass inspection. I'm subbing for Capt. Obvious on the Psychic Hotline today.
birds_fml 7
Man... I hope you've got a Tide stain pen LOL!
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Comments (97)
Snoopy50210 0
first!
Reyo 2
If the inspector has any sort of manhood in him, he'll understand completely. When a hot chick is in trouble, are you meant to do NOTHING?
Starchild21 3
No this is bullshit dude. Your Chief will be able to work it out with you unless he's a prick. And why are you in Dress Whites? All inspections that started from mid September now involve the Winter Blues. I actually stood too close to the urinal before in my Whites, had yellow dots everywhere hahaha ______________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
youreanidiot 0
Hey Starchild, it changes over at different times depending on the location... Warmer places can still be in whites. Anyway, FYL
Starchild21 3
It says New Jersey. I'm in DC. My friends are in Norfolk and Pensacola. The East Coast has shifted to Dress Blues when it comes to inspections, and official uniform turnover is October 5th. _______________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Starchild, fyi FMLs are never really "today". Most of the time, it's stuff that happened weeks or even months ago. We've had OPs of other FMLs that commented to tell us that it was actually stuff from years before. So it's unlikely he's in his dress whites "now". This probably happened a while ago, and he simply thought of submitting it to the site recently.
Starchild21 3
Ah good point good point. Forgot about that. _________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
troyboyd05 0
I'm just amazed Starchild knew that. I've never even heard of that!
fsxman1 11
it's the navy they don't give a shit
MiGman 5
#24 I've seen some crazy ass inspection parties and they do not take any excuse for something that's out of place on a uniform
MiddleChild08 0
You had to have known vomit was a possibility when you realized she was sick...YDI.
MiddleChild08 0
She could have, but then he wouldn't have had anything to post...and he wouldn't have had a funny story. No one ever hears stories about people who DIDN'T get puked on.
Ughsucks 0
You just responded to your own comment you fucktard.
MiddleChild08 0
No, asshole, I was responding to the comment under mine. Way to go...
Starchild21 3
lmao wow ughsucks is retarded as hell _________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
allysonnn 0
oo...that sucks
MiddleChild08 0
She could have, but then he wouldn't have had anything to post...and it wouldn't have been a good story. No one ever hears stories about people who didn't get puked on.
MousedaDrumma 0
lol this is the navy, they would never go for that. ive shown up to inspectons before with cuts on my face and still gotten hits for missing a spot.
Cristaderzi 0
Of you served on ths Uss Comstock then you deserved it otherwise Fyl and thank you for serving...
MiddleChild08 0
I thought the Navy wore Blue anyway? My uncle did when he was in the Navy.
puhffft 0
Summer whites. They switch to the winter uniform on the 5th, I believe. Sorry, man. That sucks. I hope you had a spare uniform handy.
shell0908 0
dude I'm in the navy and we have more then one type of uniform and different colors also
aback 5
My guess is you won't pass inspection. I'm subbing for Capt. Obvious on the Psychic Hotline today.
rukusrazor 0
Navy eh? Well I'm sure it had "SEMEN" stains all over it anyways. Ziiiiiiiiiiiiing!
Cheesecake2k 0
+1 For the corny joke :P
Zoth 0
Now that was just unfunny, tasteless and disrespectful. Please go away 13 year old.
EnJey0 19
A swing and a miss. By a mile
Playdate 0
FYL. Hope you managed to get sorted out before inspection!!
birds_fml 7
Man... I hope you've got a Tide stain pen LOL!
Sunbolt 0
more like a tide stain spray paint
blalien 0
I thought they gave you two uniforms.