Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on my way to class and it was muddy outside, so I slipped and it looks like I shit myself. I'm wearing white pants. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML
Today, I wore a new pair of white pants, feeling fancy. Halfway through the day, I discovered a ketchup stain that looked suspiciously like a heart right on the front. That explained why people kept giving me sympathetic nods as I walked by, probably thinking I'd spilled my heart on my sleeve… or my pants. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML
Today, I wore new trousers to work. As I walked to my desk, I noticed a weird damp patch near my zip. Panicking, I thought I'd pissed myself. I rushed to the bathroom, then figured out that it was the condensation from my lunch container, which was in my bag that I had on my lap during the bus ride to work. FML
Today, it was the first day of school, and I split my pants. In a full class. While on a stage. I'm the teacher, and I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML
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Top comments
blue8795 0
I really have never had my dryer "eat" anything, maybe shrink. Anyone care to explain?
wannabesinger 16
Don't you have a mirror? Always make sure you look ok before going out. And when taking the pants out, how did you not notice that when folding or unfolding the pants?
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Comments (74)
Ethos_fml 0
First. And wowzers.
humorizer 14
You deserve it for being from ILLinois.
Gasoares22 0
DAtz Summ Funny ass Shit LmAo RotFF.....
Slantbeard 0
Suuure blame it on the dryer.... Just own up and announce to the world that you shat yourself.
Kimbug 0
hahaha And seriously? You didn't realize that you had a huge stain on your pants when you put them on? YDI
GreenHacker 0
Get some adult diapers if you can't hold it in. YDI
SarahPicc 3
that's a load of crap. pun intended. haha.
Ethos_fml 0
First and wowzers
Zhejan 0
^^ Double fail
JohnnyTheFox 0
sounds like a crappy day you had
stephto 0
haha pun!
blue8795 0
I really have never had my dryer "eat" anything, maybe shrink. Anyone care to explain?
kukopia 0
OP is in denial to the really juicy fart he had that last time he wore those pants.
FarSide 23
First, OP is a woman you blind mofo. Second, how does a dryer "eat" your pants by leaving a brown stain??? Really OP, if you are going to blame inanimate objects when you crap your pants, just by some Depends.
MrsPegg 45
When a clothing item gets caught in the door when you close it. When the drum spins the clothes, the oil on the inner track causes a streak. Usually you know when this happens though, because when you open the dryer you have a tightly wound piece of clothing (like a rope).
leenheartlovex3 0
Second. And ydi.
ruben7467 0
#5 failed If the iron "burns" the khaki pants so much that it looks like you crapped yourself.....YDI for not knowing how to IRON. Apparently he need to focus when you iron something or don't turn it up so Hot/High. Basic rules about Ironing.
Ohnothingreally 0
Dryer, not iron.
ruben7467 0
LOL. my bad.
plexico 4
If you were thinking professional laxative tester then you would have achieved your goal.
99MDC 0
That's pretty shitty.
_cheeseballs 0
hahaha win.
beepelati 5
ahahahahahahah god, that mustnhavr been soo embarassing, but how on earth did you not realize you had a brown stain on your bum???
stairshurtz 0
Owned
wannabesinger 16
Don't you have a mirror? Always make sure you look ok before going out. And when taking the pants out, how did you not notice that when folding or unfolding the pants?
Silent_Harmony 3
YDI for not looking at the darn pants before you put them on!