Today, while wearing my Navy Dress White Uniform, I decided to stop and help this attractive girl who was not feeling well. Without warning, she blew chunks all over my "Whites". I have a uniform inspection later this afternoon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML
Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
aback 5
My guess is you won't pass inspection. I'm subbing for Capt. Obvious on the Psychic Hotline today.
birds_fml 7
Man... I hope you've got a Tide stain pen LOL!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (97)
MousedaDrumma 0
dress whites and dress blues. along with new camis, peanut butters and coveralls. oh and flight deck uniforms for us insanely awesome aviation rates. :-)
psycho_jugalette 0
sry. but air dales r not even close to the best rating. :) monkeys r better. :)
logre_fml 0
haha! hope it worked out for you, shipmate
Lady14_fml 0
why are you having a dress white uniform inspection when we're about to go to blues? your command must be so much fun.
MousedaDrumma 0
lol or crazy... but then again my command is still on Whites... good weather though, better than when i was TAD in Oceana...... omg it was so ******* cold.
Lady14_fml 0
yeah we're going to blues next week. Im at NOB.
roflcobra 4
The Navy Ball is in early October. I'm guessing the poster's command wanted to make sure everyone had their uniforms in order for that.
Doc_J65 0
dude that sucks. hope the inspection goes well
Jeanie821 1
And you know that's going to leave a stain that won't come out easily at all. But you did the right thing.
summeriswinter 0
I hate whites!!! I think that was the worst uniform idea, especially for all of us girls!
trakus 0
I never thought of that... That does blow.
Starchild21 3
Whites do suck, but nothing compares to the 14 ******* buttons us guys have on the flap of the Dress Blues. I was with a guy that had to piss so bad and he couldn't get the buttons off in time that he just ripped the flap off hahahaha _________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
Lady14_fml 0
omg it sucks! My male LPO had to tell a girl that next inspection she needs to wear 'real' underwear becuz he could see her thong. whites suck.
Starchild21 3
You're still lucky though. We had an LPO that would give make whoever wore boxers or colored panties give a "fashion" show because he said everyone should have white underwear. I remember seeing one of my friends come down in all of the uniforms he had over the course of 2 hours, and I knew the guy wasn't ******* around lol. ___________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
plexico 4
So much for you latest effort to get laid. Would you have helped out an ugly girl who wasn't feeling well? I thought not. That's dumb, because if an ugly girl puked on you she'd probably be domesticated enough to clean your uniform. And give you a gratitude ****.
xxmollyxx 25
Meh
best_friends_ 0
ydi for wasting your time writing this when you should be cleaning the uniform genius.
f_me247 0
YDI, why the **** would you help a *****??? It's common sense, you dumbfuck!!!!!!!!!!
Moemoemoe_fml 0
O_o ****** are still human beings!! You have some serious problems there boy. Wait until you're on the side of the street barfing desperately and no one will approach you because they think you're a hobo and thus a subhuman who doesn't deserves any help like you seemed to imply.