Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was walking around Walmart when this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk, so I followed him around the store, trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. He told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart when I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with, "You know I'm a guy, right?" FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. As I was checking out, I went to grab the same item that the cashier was reaching for. He brushed my hand. He then both watched me creepily and asked my what lotion I used to make my hands so soft. When I left, he said, "I'll dream of you." FML
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Top comments
Nickb55 16
Even in the heat of the moment how did you manage to say that?
ipman737 18
Well did he take you to the bedsheets? ;)
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Comments (103)
flashback_fml 14
Lol already thinking about the bed, you seriously probably blew his mind though
FMLworthy5000 21
Legendary
LeahSkye 1
That's awesome! ;)
ZodiacalComa7 11
Screw it, do better than a Wal-Mart employee.
squideth 18
What, like a self-superior douchebag like you?
psycheiris13 20
Where do you find your pick up lines OP? Couldn't you just start with hello? But I don't blame you for being nervous and better luck next time ;)
Red_Ninja_20 5
This is what happens when a Tumblr user tries to ask someone out.
ahsanmasood 4
*hugs* its ok :), happens to the best of us :)
JamaicanJenny_ 1
Hahaha funnyy
megcarpy 19
I feel you!
Ashter 20
That is priceless. Did you go back?