Today, while walking around my college campus, I passed by a dorm where a drunk guy was peeing out one of the top floor windows while his drunk friends cheered him on. That guy is my boyfriend. Lucky me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Today, I went camping with my boyfriend. We were sleeping on a small slope. He got so drunk he peed in his sleep. I was downhill. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend drunkenly pissing out the window. Apparently, I should be happy he pissed out the window instead of just wetting the bed. When I suggested he drink less, he got furious and yelled that I might be a lesbian, since I apparently want him to be a "pansy girly bitch boy." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
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Top comments
ariannaimelda 7
I smell true love in the air...
AugustBurnsToast 14
Getting into college doesn't always guarantee you're gonna do great things in life lol
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Comments (94)
DoubleCross 9
Push him out the window. Problem = Solved.
numbersystem 4
Theres too many witnesses if she pushes him out. You need something more subtle. Like wait till he and his friends are sleeping. Then let out carbon monoxide into the room until theyre passed out. Then drown them in a bathtub full of beer. One by one. No witnesses.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Either confront him about being an idiot, or put up with it. If you confront him and he doesn't change his ways, it's time to break it off.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
And this is why the divorce rate is so high. No one ******* talks problems out anymore, it's just "BRAKE UP W/ HIM!1!1!!!111"
TriflingAllDay 6
Divorce his incompetent ass!!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
55- Re-read my comment. I said, talk to him about it first, and if he refuses to quit being an idiot, think about breaking it off. Don't be so quick to jump down my throat.
99megster 15
55- couldn't agree with you more! And 16- I don't understand why u think that being drunk and pissing out of a window is something you should break up over. First of all, he was drunk. And second of all, I think that's pretty damn funny. I hope OP has a good sense of humor
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I didn't say to just flat-out dump him on the spot. If you would take the time to do a little thing called reading, you'd realize that I said to TALK IT OUT FIRST. AGAIN. Stop being ignorant. Read my comment before replying, please.
DasHaas 9
There is such a thing as "ex-boyfriend". If you put with it, that's your choice. Don't complain about how bad something is when it's your choice to have it like that, that's just silly.
amak1228 3
That's attractive...
seasonedtoast 19
Could be worse. I thought this was going towards you being peed on. THAT would have been something to whinge about.
br0ccoli 15
How do men go from peeing, drunk, out of a window to being a 9 to 5 cubicle jockey with a family and a mortgage? The transformation always amazes me. I'm not being sarcastic when I say that. I am truly fascinated. How does that happen???
DasHaas 9
They suddenly realise they need to pay bills and they pissed away (har har) their chances of getting a cool job because they were always drunk in college.
Michael_92 20
Well I hate to say it but there are many people that don't and keep up the immature act their whole life.
Boob_fml 6
Sounds like his friends are much more supportive of his great achievements than you are. What a terrible girlfriend..
DjeePee 25
Pff, at least he peed out of a window instead of on your feet.
zandalee 20
Or in the cats litter box.
Fmlsea 28
his stream will prob go longer then any of his realtionships
Annnieck 5
At least you know what to expect when he gets drunk on your wedding. At least, when you continue dating him.