Today, while volunteering at my local library, a guy who smelled like crap followed me around all day. Every time I would bend over to shelf a book, he would start grunting. Apparently, he's going to be at the library every day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML
Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
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Top comments
stormy0307 16
You can ask to have people who make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe removed from the library.
bloopaloop 27
Talk to him about your cat collection. That’ll make him go away.
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Comments (8)
stormy0307 16
You can ask to have people who make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe removed from the library.
bloopaloop 27
Talk to him about your cat collection. That’ll make him go away.
RichardPencil 32
That could backfire. Talking about pussy could make him even more gruntled*. *The opposite of “disgruntled” that doesn’t exist but should, dammit!
RichardPencil 32
Why don’t you get a job at a bookstore? You’ll be doing the same thing and getting paid for it in a place that kicks out bums.
TomeDr 25
Libraries kick out pervs like this too. It needs to be reported to the head of the library.
RichardPencil 32
They’re never as aggressive as businesses. The library tolerates a lot of bums.
Vada53 15
seriously, you should tell him to f off, you dont need to put up with that
tounces7 28
The difficulty of kicking him out I assume stems from the fact he is probably mentally challenged.(I mean he's creepy and smells like crap so it's a good possibility).