Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
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Top comments
Comet_Candy 23
That is just disgusting...
Heather645 5
Wow, and your still with him?
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Comments (260)
icallbullshit 3
Dw bout it, urine is sterile :D
groupleader 7
Sounds to me like there is nothing wrong or weird about his penis. It works like it is supposed to. Did it look weird to you, before you got a shot of whiz to your eyes?
lilcuz69 16
That's true love right there!!
loveistwisted 10
Lmfao. Funny but wrong.
redstaylor 4
Yuck. That's a deal breaker.
JoonieMoon 0
Time to move out
ComplexChris 3
That's some white shit!!
FlutterShyy 0
Nah just a dude trying to be R Kelly
Elmoo_fml 16
Aww, that's just gross!
TheMathMajor 26
Translation: "you deserve it for dating the dumbass"
moneybagz131 6
Is your boyfriend a fan of R Kelly? Just sayin.