Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
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Top comments
Comet_Candy 23
That is just disgusting...
Heather645 5
Wow, and your still with him?
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Comments (260)
chicharita14 0
My boyfriends done the same thing to me....twice
zach8771 3
Golden shower
ChloeG_fml 9
You must have been pissed off, or may I say pissed ON lol
mrphychrs 5
nothin wrong with a little golden shower
hhhwat 0
Just subtly wake him up with a steamer to his chest.
joker72401 1
It's called a "Cleveland Steamer" and it's when you sh!t on someone's chest, then rub it in with your a$$ cheeks. I have given and gotten one of these. I think I can still smell it. Eeew!
erika729 1
Wtf?
JasonEP 3
Holy cow! Look you guys it's a duck.
joker72401 1
No, that's a dumb black bitch trying to kiss the camera...
bubu93_fml 1
if my x would have done that to me while we were together i would have squeezed his balls
ceegee415 5
Move out.
Bass_Killer69 1
Oh wow, there is no way buddy would even still HAVE a penis if that was me......
_wraith 15
Oh! That's gross OP. I could only imagine how gross that would be. Maybe just try explaining to him that its not really funny and its disrespectful to you. If he continues despite expressing your feelings about the whole thing, he may not be ready to have a live-in girlfriend yet. Or a girlfriend at all. Either way, that's straight up nasty.