Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
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Top comments
Comet_Candy 23
That is just disgusting...
Heather645 5
Wow, and your still with him?
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Comments (260)
kei1108 13
That is so disrespectful. Is this seriously the person that you want to be with? That doesn't seem like a funny joke in the slightest.
yupitssoph 18
Dafaq did I just read
Sundaysilence05 0
oh fml thanks for giving me ideas to spice things up with the misses
littlebluepill 1
And you're still with him why?
pagullarka 9
Come on, no one thinks it was kind of sexy, you are in a shower you can wash up. :)
FalconWhitaker 20
If you're into golden showers, I suppose, but even if you are, that's not something you just spring onto your partner without prior communication on the subject. After all, just because (general) you like adding piss to your sexual proceedings doesn't mean your partner does and you should check that sort of thing first because it can be a serious deal breaker. ... yes I am being incredibly po-faced about this, shush XD
Headcrab 29
Just marking his territory.
inSayne 7
OP, I wish we could have seen the look on your face, you were probably really pissed on-- er, off.
tom526 10
Immature and nasty. Hope you kicked him in the nuts for that.
Mr_mur_der 0
You just got R Kelly'ed.
UnicornInSpace 6
Wait, what?!