Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
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Top comments
Comet_Candy 23
That is just disgusting...
Heather645 5
Wow, and your still with him?
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Comments (260)
RomanBeauty 0
I would dump him- after a swift kick in the nuts!
mgkgambino 3
Better being pissed off then pissed on...oh wait..
angelofsaturn 23
Just wait til he's sleeping. Fart in his face as an appetizer and either lay a pad gently across his face or gently tuck a tampon between his lips. Bonus points for your super heavy days.
mackdeezy 22
Of all the FML's with immature boyfriends this one takes the cake.... Maybe until next week when the next douchebag boyfriend shows up on another FML
lynn0985 5
He R. Kelly you!!!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Wut? That makes no sense.
krewer21 1
You should shower him while sexing him. Cum in, piss on! FTW!
pammievb 2
That is a little psycho OP
OfficeNinja 5
What a class act you have for a boyfriend. But why are you so shocked? Guys who would piss on their girlfriends face (without being asked to - some people are into that stuff) are usually always polite gentlemen with excellent manners. He has probably closed doors in your face (or at least not held them open for you), talked smack about you while you were in the vicinity, and so on. And so you moved in. Enjoy the pee!
rebeccac3 5
That is gross...