Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
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Top comments
Comet_Candy 23
That is just disgusting...
Heather645 5
Wow, and your still with him?
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Comments (260)
chels1994 11
I'm all for immaturity, but pissing on someones face for ***** and giggles is pushing it way too far
ChrisG93 8
Yeah I'd have to agree. That's taking immaturity to a whole new level.
ebdeadaccount 11
Hope it didn't get in your eye
stevenJB 25
Dude, what the hell?! Atleast your in the shower, but still. Thats sick man. Eh...well, i guess if your into goldenshowers..???? :(
ss_20_xx 14
*you're Can't believe I'm being a grammar nazi but twice in one sentence...YDI.
xmogyx 0
Since you're being clever and correcting everyone.. It wasn't twice in one sentence, it was twice in two.
catanita 18
You shoud castrate him the dump him. What a .... I have no words to describe this.
icallbullshit 3
Removing the testicles (castration) has nothing to do with urine. Good day.
cBlackout 13
Overreact much? Jesus, you people act like its such a big deal... Idk if its a feminist thing or you're just offended by a chick getting pissed on... But calm down.
borche 5
I don't think it's disgusting! Well not if you are really in love with him.
therealslim 15
Yeah, because pissing on your girlfriend's face is really ******* romantic.
borche 5
Actually yes. Just to clarify, boyfriend!
LadyA13 1
F*ck that. I would have ball tapped him so fast, he would have been throwing up before he even knew what hit him.
RedPillSucks 33
Gently wake him with a soothing massage of his balls and penis. When he becomes more aware, grip tightly, flash an evil grin, hold up a pair of scissors and say "Next time you piss on me, I'ma cut it off" Then cheerfully ask if he'd like you to make him a sammich.
tinkx22 6
Excellent lol
alvarny 17
And you can have the satisfaction of watching him go from hero to zero at light speed.
CurlyJeff57 5
That is the most genius thing I have ever read.
Beer_Wisperer 6
Pissed on and pissed off at the same time!
BrotherTheo 31
Once you calm down talk to him. Explain, calmly that if he ever does anything like that again you will laugh, grab his nuts, and squeeze. Hard. This should solve the problem.
Brelywi 15
I would move right the **** back out.