Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
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Top comments
Comet_Candy 23
That is just disgusting...
Heather645 5
Wow, and your still with him?
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Comments (260)
klatt 8
I would be moving out as fast as I moved in !!
klatt 8
Next time he goes down on you return the favor 8-)
drewbugg 5
Good luck!
chantellenative 0
Lmao. Why did you even look? :&
NNR 0
The first two things that should of poped in your head is he is eather going to piss on me or bust a n•t
DuffleBagHero 4
I think you guys are taking this too seriously . So what many people pee in the shower-it goes down the drain and you never see it again . Plus if it was dirty , you clean it . I clean mines every like 5 weeks . It's not like your taking a bubble bath in your pee residue . If it's a standing shower, get over it
Breezy4sheezy 2
(singing) Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love. I done even want none of the above. I want to piss on you, yes I do, that's what I'ma do, I'ma pee on you!
l23VIVE 17
Bazinga...
DuRpY 5
The old is-there-something-odd-about-my-penis-go-ahead-and-take-a-closer-look-i-promise-i-won't-golden-shower-your-face-you-gullible-bitch trick ehh? Works every single time!
FalconWhitaker 20
Hm. If this is the sort of thing men find funny, perhaps it is a good thing that I'm terminally single.