Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were "bored". FML
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Top comments
RezaCookies 0
yeahh youd rather burn than be soothed by cold water huh.
Me654 0
Well shouldn't it cool you down a bit?
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Comments (136)
khaya 9
Did it work?
denvan 0
You have murdered your sense of humor
CarleeBugg123 5
Maybe you should put him inside a giant, squishy room xD
irokyoursox 6
hahaha your dad is funny
briidontgive_ 0
You ppl saying the dad is stupid for spraying water need to read the comments above about cold water being the best decision in case of burns.
irokyoursox 6
if it's a very bad burn you don't use cold water you use cool or room temperature water. cold water would make it hurt more. I learned this from lifeguards when I did junior guards
briidontgive_ 0
Yeah, I meant to say *minor burns, oopsie :/
jenaandtyler4eva 0
lmao today is just a bad day for you and maybe you should teach him how to becareful and not to do anything stupid and maybe get you to a hospital depending on your burn and I would have called him a dumbass
palmtrees 1
If the coffee was at such a temperature that the OP was relaxing while drinking it, it's pretty unlikely that it caused burns requiring emergent medical care...
varkey 7
what's wrong with that? it does feel good to have cold water poured on you after you've just scalded yourself, and plus he got the coffee off... still FYL because that whole thing happened
J_rockk10 3
YDI for boiling coffee.
staceysgenesis16 0
ooo nice m5 :D
GrahamAker 3
well no one can say this wouldn't have happend if the OP was in the kitchen. FYL
sinny7684 4
He's probably on drugs.