Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were "bored". FML
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Top comments
RezaCookies 0
yeahh youd rather burn than be soothed by cold water huh.
Me654 0
Well shouldn't it cool you down a bit?
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Comments (136)
shitbags 0
fail
grapist 0
your dad is hilar lawlz
marshmellowboobs 0
Lifes a bitch :)
ImInABox 6
Do you get put out a lot?
RAVENxD 0
yeah maybe you need a new dad LOL
azurewave 6
ok so you can't really blame the kid for falling asleep in class because we have no idea what the kids been going through or what's he been doing and the dad shouldn't of just hid the xbox controllers he should have talked to him first. but he should be beaten for the meds
SnowFlakeInAK 7
#63 I am fairly certain you have posted on the wrong FML. So, FYL for the mistake! hehehe
Evii_fml 5
Hahaha nice! I recommend a new dad, and a new shirt... And a new place to drink hot coffee! =)
andres19 0
give that gentleman an A for effort
TXjuggalo972 6
actually it would be e for effort
inahaz 0
who boils coffee?