Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML
Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry… The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML
Today, I went to gather the laundry out of the dryer. My daughter had seen my wife put bleach in the washer, so she decided that honey in the dryer would make the clothes smell sweet. She wasn't wrong, but now I have a giant ball of sticky socks and underwear. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, while doing self-checkout at Walmart, the cap of my laundry detergent came off as I scanned it and dumped all over me. FML
Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML
Today, my dishes smelled so perfume-y after going through the dishwasher and a clean glass of water tasted soapy. I checked the pods my husband bought and loaded into the dishwasher to make sure we never got that brand again. They were laundry detergent pods. I was essentially a millennial eating a Tide Pod. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
That's not immature! That's funny as hell and you have awesome humor!
misterjez 15
I think you are referring to a queef not an ******.
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Comments (216)
cherryllollo 7
and i agree with the others. never too immature to do chores. but youre obviously too immature to have sex. God forbid you get pregnant.
AnneeSo 6
It's okay, yesterday I was petting my dog and I started laughing like crazy. For absolutely no reason.
hamsmum 2
What you are describing sounds like queefing, not orgasming. If my orgasms were like a bottle emptying, I would be complaining. ;-)
dmadsen33 9
Yeah... You need more orgasms my friend.! Let the laundry be and realize that your orgasms don't make you sound like a detergent bottle!
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
A bottle that sounded like a woman's ******... Who have you been dating?
ttttttyyy 0
^ No...No No No...
HunterAlpha1 8
and exactly what, pray tell, does a woman's happyhappyjoyjoy sound like?
esines 9
65 - operational penis
ddavenportsp 0
Do y'all think that some of these people commenting take this very seriously
surcouay 0
How could a detergent bottle sound like an ******? Are you thinking of the word queef?