Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML
Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry… The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML
Today, I went to gather the laundry out of the dryer. My daughter had seen my wife put bleach in the washer, so she decided that honey in the dryer would make the clothes smell sweet. She wasn't wrong, but now I have a giant ball of sticky socks and underwear. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, while doing self-checkout at Walmart, the cap of my laundry detergent came off as I scanned it and dumped all over me. FML
Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML
Today, my dishes smelled so perfume-y after going through the dishwasher and a clean glass of water tasted soapy. I checked the pods my husband bought and loaded into the dishwasher to make sure we never got that brand again. They were laundry detergent pods. I was essentially a millennial eating a Tide Pod. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
That's not immature! That's funny as hell and you have awesome humor!
misterjez 15
I think you are referring to a queef not an ******.
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Comments (216)
jaredofmo 22
I don't even know what that sounds like, and given that I figured I'm gay, I'll likely never know. Don't feel bad about immature humor.
DobiesJS2012 9
Your name would imply that you already have the answer you seek..
Freakophiliac 12
Immature humor is the best. :D And if child labour is okay in some countries, it's probably okay to do your laundry even if you laugh at immature things... ;-)
KMtheDrummer 6
I giggled when I read Torva's comment. So yeah.
perdix 31
My detergent bottle always makes ****** sounds, but my clothes never get clean. I think it's faking.
ErykahRenfrew 3
I have to ask as a women myself... What "sound" is it you THINK a woman's ****** makes? Because its not like a fart or a burp that makes a noise..if she weren't moaning the ****** would be 100% silent.
dogpup4 23
I think OP means the moans.
simplylost643 0
#76- I believe she (the OP) is refering to the sound of a "queef", the noise that is heard when air is expelled from the vaginal cavity. If during ****** her vaginal contractions are powerful enough, the constrictions of the muscular wall of the ****** would force out any trapped air. Does every woman "queef" when they ******? No. Many woman due not have vaginal orgasms though, but rather clitorial orgasms, which do not produce the same contractions of muscles. Hope this helps.
twisted_cherub 14
But queefs don't only happen during ******. They happen any time air trapped inside a woman is release. The most common cause is when a penis (or other object) is pushed in and out rapidly or at an odd angle.
deransc 19
You should be 100% silent
crablegs 2
how big is the hole on that bottle?
jgunner1230 3
A squeeze bottle of laundry detergent?
Skymone 6
I'm not trolling now - could you please make your bottle make that noise again and then record and post on youtube? I'm dying with curiosity to know how it sounds! :D Also, I think it doesn't matter if you're think hearing ****** sounds is immature or not - as long as your white socks aren't pink and your sweater isn't Barbie's size, you're good.
ttttttyyy 0
Testicles!!! :D