Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML
Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry… The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML
Today, I went to gather the laundry out of the dryer. My daughter had seen my wife put bleach in the washer, so she decided that honey in the dryer would make the clothes smell sweet. She wasn't wrong, but now I have a giant ball of sticky socks and underwear. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, while doing self-checkout at Walmart, the cap of my laundry detergent came off as I scanned it and dumped all over me. FML
Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML
Today, my dishes smelled so perfume-y after going through the dishwasher and a clean glass of water tasted soapy. I checked the pods my husband bought and loaded into the dishwasher to make sure we never got that brand again. They were laundry detergent pods. I was essentially a millennial eating a Tide Pod. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
That's not immature! That's funny as hell and you have awesome humor!
misterjez 15
I think you are referring to a queef not an ******.
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Comments (216)
fuzzbuck1 4
That's what she said
VoteForTaco 8
Not even close to funny.
fuzzbuck1 4
Hahaha
HaniahAhmad 0
That's what who said?
SkoomaKi 28
101 - She said it. Oh and by the way, One Direction are shit.
lil_ham1644 29
They look like they're 14 lol
abbyhoneywaffles 11
Well I started washing my own clothes when I was 11, before I even knew what an ****** was.. so I don't think so.
staymintyfresh 13
You didn't know what an ****** was at 11???
abbyhoneywaffles 11
No, I did not... Why is that surprising to you? You expect a fifth grader to be completely educated about sex?
murdersquirrel 15
Knowing what an ****** is doesn't require complete sex education...just effective masturbation. :)
chemchic 7
80- there is nothing wrong with that I didn't know at 11 either. unlike the hoes of today :/
abbyhoneywaffles 11
85- No, maybe not, but it's still a detailed part of sex. All I knew at that age was penis + ******= babies. And I think that's normal or maybe even more than some 5th graders know.
SkoomaKi 28
Wait.... I thought mummy and daddy would hug and kiss and then a baby would pop out mum's belly button?!
Grimmerie 31
I started sex ed in fourth grade. Just saying.
abbyhoneywaffles 11
140- Well that's creepy that your education system teaches 8 & 9 year olds about sex.
DomDomxoxo 16
First grade starts at 6 so in 4th grade the kids are 10-11. Creepy that your education system doesn't teach you math.
falafalo 25
#168 - Please check your own math before you insult someone else's. There are three years between 1st and 4th grade. 4th graders are usually 9-10, not 10-11. And sex ed at that level is usually more concerned with basic anatomy and changes that the kids should expect when they hit puberty, not about specific sex acts or orgasms...
tr0llz0r 0
MY QUESTION IS THIS: Why are you comparing times like BO (before ******), or AO (after ******)? Like, there's a significant change in your person after you discovered orgasms? -_-
abbyhoneywaffles 11
168- I was off by a year, calm your **** please. That does not mean I can't do math because I made a mistake. 170 is right, I remember being taught about the male & female sex organs in 5th grade, but not about orgasms or even the act of sexual intercourse.
simonsaysYDI 8
I had to learn from religious books my grandma sent me ...I didn't have ANY sex Ed until 10th grade. The **** is wrong with my state...
LennyComa 39
Immature but I probably would of had a little chuckle if it had happened to me
misterjez 15
I think you are referring to a queef not an ******.
chemchic 7
Yeah not sure why no one realized it earlier....
dougierocks 13
Apparently a lot of people have no idea what they are talking about. But they keep talking. fMl...
bonermonkey 31
I thought that, I was reading the comments like wtf since when was there a particular sound for a female ******, what am I missing
Theia_fml 0
The title of your FML post 'mmmtortilla' is giving off a bad vibe to me... 0.0
MrFuzzles 5
You may be on to something. A blow up doll plus a detergent bottle and you've got a million dollar idea.
chemchic 7
*off topic* HILARIOUS picture.
MrFuzzles 5
Why thank you!
ClosetTroll 10
Maturity is subjective. If you have the capability to wash your own clothes then by all means do it (and entertain yourself with detergent bottles, soap bubbles, water splashes and the like).
olpally 33
******! :D
rocketiquette 20
So your laundry bottle queefed? I wasn't aware an ****** made noise, perhaps you mean moaning or something of the sort?
nofearjenshere 12
You must have not watched **** before.
j5p332 6
Ah yes, because everything you see in **** is 100% normal and real... Lol
rocketiquette 20
166- I have. Dunno wtf you watched.
gloria89108 1
I think this is funny :)