Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
Geese are just God's flying assholes.
cha40_fml 0
ahhh this has happened to me before. I was walking my dog, and the poor thing wanted to play with the geese, the geese did not want to play.
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Comments (173)
soccerboy101 0
#75. LOL u got pwned!!!!!!!!!
soohungry 0
LOL, fyl for getting attacked, but it's a good story to tell :P
Chad_Brisson 2
I wound up fighting one of those bastards when i worked landscaping. damn thing broke my shovel. givin it was a fiberglass handle but still that was a scary fight... it sucks being the only guy on the team lol i have to fight pissed off geese. Although it turned out we were too close to its nest and it got pissy.
xxxsportygurlxxx 0
loL xD better bring along someone another time u do this..
GoodpointAllen 0
Geese are dangerous. Once, I got ina fight witha goose; we pulled a blade on me. I atempted to attack it from behind, but it spun with a counter and slashed my face. Frustrated, I pulled a pistol and began to shoot at it. The goose, in a cocky way, began dodging at high speeds. I cornered it, and took the shoot; unfortunately, the goose managed to cut my bullet in half with its knife. It then took a slash at me, which I dodged; however, he ended up ruining my book shelf. I found a chain gun on the floor, and was just about to use it when.....I woke up.
FuzzyWalnuts 0
I love chasing geese!! That rarely happens if you're at least moderately tall. FYL
lonleygurl1989 0
We have geese where i go to schhol. cuz there is this huge lake in the back. once i was sitting out there, and all of a sudden there were well over 50 geese around me. i was so scared. but then it was awsome. cus i was the only one out there.
SixGunPsychosis 0
You gotta expect these kinda things if your in Illinois. We're all assholes here, especially the geese!
Avenging_Angel 0
Lmao, and btw, when you attack chickens with swords, they don't fly away like you'd think. Dozens of them swarm on you and peck you till you die :D (I learned this in Zelda xP)
jmeg_fml 0
Hahaha yes this is the exact same thing I was thinking of :)
delfinofrank 0
omg i remember that now! from ocarina of time right?
24788 7
Geese don't play games. They will rob you in the middle of the day.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
EPIC YDI~ If you find annoying others funny, you deserve the geese running after you. *lol* It's not right to scare them off for no reason.
Prawn_fml 2
Yeah, sheesh. Just run around, leave the geese to their thing, and they'll leave you to your thing. Show some respect.