Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
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Top comments
playnejayne 0
that is really creepy. fyl.
Lord_Stubby 2
....over Dora the Explorer or was it just on?! Either way, ew.
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Comments (152)
playnejayne 0
that is really creepy. fyl.
michael32123 0
not creepy. Dora is grown up now. has her own lil rainforest (if you catch my drift) and has bewbz so yeah I beat to her every morning
mkylem 0
Maybe he was looking at lewd pictures while watching Dora and her 8-year-oldness.
Fuzzygraywolf 0
hey swiper no swipein! :D lol
ryguy997 0
105 lol swiped swiped her virginity.
ryguy997 0
sorry I meant swiper swiped dora's virginity. damn anti flood protection!
supremes1997 0
wow your comment made me lol
tweetbaby14 18
yea I agree OP you should get out more before you become a pedofile. just stay away from: schools, family resturaunts, mcdonalds, bk, waterparks, public pools, etc.
samantha987 0
you're sick. >:(
tbj42409 0
you couldn't have turned it off? wtf!
christyxbee 15
Cum on vomonos....
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
You did it, you did it, you did it, hooray!!!
skeleton_skinner 0
2nd! Creeeepy!!!!!
qazaq 1
Pedophile
Lord_Stubby 2
....over Dora the Explorer or was it just on?! Either way, ew.
CoonAndFriends 0
If it was over Dora the Explorer... what the hell is attractive about that? Her stomach is sticking out xDXD. Maybe it was over Swiper? ;D
Right_Click 12
I'm pretty sure the kids fell asleep while watching TV and it was just on in the background...
Wyaru 9
He's pretty foxy
OMG_NFW 4
very disturbing...
Ottoman81 0
are u the father or mother? u dont need to get out, u need to get laid!
fairman 5
i agree
HelloNoora1 0
it says the gender at the top
tyrob911 0
u r the sickest man alive. how do u wack off to Dora the explorer? it's people like u we don't need in the society. now I feel bad for your kids. if u can ********** to Dora, then shit u are a ****** pedophile. I hope your wife leaves your weird ass alone
jdeon1 0
lolololol so true
Kirlyfoo 9
6 u are like such a fag! U desrve to be left by ur wife! We dont need u in society! By now u must realise im making fun of u! Trollbag!!
bettyc4 26
I'm guessing everyone who did thumbs down was a fellow pedo bear Thumbs up on this comment from me
muffler 0
yucky
skeleton_skinner 0
I slightly agree with
ReadALLDemLettrz 1
Same
11wanda11 6
that is just wrong!
epoh_fml 0
OP didn't specify whether or not they masturbated TO Dora, or if it was just in the backround . . . either way, turn off the TV and use your imagination. Have the kids do the same. It will do you all a world of good.