Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Fortuitous 0
Did he make you deepthroat something else since you lost?
perdix 31
Was the argument that you could deepthroat him if you really tried?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (183)
lolornot 2
Lol Hopersz! It was kinda freaky though...especially the nair omg! Haha
Hopersz 0
#105 Haha IKR lol. #96 Ouch lol
J_rockk10 3
LOL was it Chipotle?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
If she can fit a Chipotle burrito in her mouth, he's got nothing to complain about!
jmh96 0
giggity!
fuzzy1994 0
YDI for distracting the driver with you BS problems, fight when hes NOT driving.
DeathHead 0
Learn to shut the hell up.
CoachLlama 5
Checkmate! What now?!?!? Maybe you should think carefully before ticking off Mr. Quickthinking again.
lydever91 0
hopefully he had to clean it up since it was his fault
SarevokRob 1
you guys were arguing whether you can or not deepthroat a burrito?
hobojo11 0
hahahahaha ahahaha ahha ahahaha sorry but ahahaha i van see myself doing that to anyone in my car
webb1234 0
this is the best burrito I've ever eaten! yum yum yum! this is the best burrito I've ever eaten! yum yum yum! with plenty of beans and plenty of cheese! yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yummmmmmmmmmmm!