Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
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Top comments
Fortuitous 0
Did he make you deepthroat something else since you lost?
perdix 31
Was the argument that you could deepthroat him if you really tried?
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Comments (183)
Hopersz 0
Wow that sucks and your bf is a ******* asshole. Get him back by pissin in his drink or putting laxatives in his food. Either that or put nair in his shampoo and conditioner. Then, if he uses male body wash, pour that outta the bottle and put feminine wash in it. When he goes to use lotion get the lotion at the store for women that makes your skin all sparkly. Put that lotion in his. Remove all his boxers from his drawer and toss them. Get all his white shirts and put a huge red mark straight down the front of it. Karmas a bitch and yes I feel sorry for anyone who messes with me in my next relationship lol. Gotta keep it real and get back at the dude 10x harder then he did you
premiermois 5
They construct loony bins for your sort.
BadMofeelius 0
14, people like you scare me
PurplePigeon 0
there is no karma in your plan. it's just you doing stupid things.
eddyy555 0
thats mean
sourgirl101 29
I thought this was only a joke at first. Now, I'm not so sure!
WolfsGuns 0
psychi bitch!
wildcatman 0
Too long, didn't read... Or did I? Hmm..
c420racer 13
Wow.....I wouldn't worry about the next relationship if that's your real pic lol FTW
Gfrigo 1
^ lol total win. she looks like a he.
xcarxcrashx 9
Eee! That's a little extreme isn't it chicken? You need some therapy or something STAT!
DragonFly_Jones 0
you'd get knocked the **** out doin that 2 me
SarahMarie83 0
Reading this comment has made us all more stupid than we previously were. By the way, since you were obviously in the car, what was the argument about? There was nothing in this FML to indicate that the boyfriend did this maliciously and it easily could have been an accident.
dysect 3
take a chill pill, maybe hide his boxers would be funny but the rest of the stuff= too much
Seba_2020 0
Mam why don't you put nair on your vajayjay and shut the F*ck up???
mattstermind93 0
ur ******.
InfiltratedMind 0
well....you look like a man..... just sayin
k177 0
14 looks like a bad whoopi goldberg
rawrlily 0
passive agressive much?
rawrlily 0
Passive agressive much?
toqwert 0
Why don't I **** punt you off a bridge bitch? I don't think you can get me back after your dead...
frickme444 5
U notice how u say your "next relationship"? I hope u understand why it's not "my current relationship" hahaha
tanlewis27 7
That's pathetic you could think of all of that to do to someone..... You really need some help.
nick1121 10
There is no karma here. It's just you being a giant **** faced bitch. You need serious help
mexipunker 0
Let me guess, the argument was about you not being able to deepthroat. Guess he proved you wrong.
serendipity1027 0
uhm... this is mine. except i didn't puke all over my self... at all. seriously get a ******* life and stop stealing other people's fmls and changing them.
Zebidee 9
Hopefully, your version was better written than this one!
sourgirl101 29
Sorry to hear it changed on you. But now I'm thinking you're great a deep throating. Your guy's crazy to pick a fight with you.(:
undeadcorpseYAY 0
i think the fight was that Op always throws up when she deep throats her bf.....tisk tisk
Hgielad_720 0
Ewww....
iIixoxiIi 0
op, u deserve it for being an annoying bit** :@ cant u be quiet, and not to argue while he's driving !! :@
aliadnan708 6
agree
serendipity1027 0
For the record... I am not dumb enough to say " I throw up all over him." past tense is needed. I am so angry now.
ImaginaryFoe 1
What was the argument about?
Zebidee 9
Can you fix the breaks/brakes while you're at it?
Zebidee 9
Cheers.
scooter69 0
ydi op!! that's what happens when you're a bitch lol
nirvanafan94 0
that's great! lmao
V_S09 0
Omg I would have been so upset