Today, the first word out of my date's mouth was, “So, how much money do you make?” That was it. No hi, how are you, or what do you do for fun, or do you prefer cats or dogs, just straight to, “How much money do you make?” Gold-digging timewaster. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
Today, I had my first date in more than two years. As soon as I sat down, the first words out of his mouth were, "How many people have you had sex with? Not just recently, but ever. I don’t date women who’ve had more than 5 partners." I left before we'd even ordered drinks. FML
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I got a date after being alone for the past 2 years. The girl who my friends set me up with began asking my monthly income, my current occupation, and asked if I have a credit card account. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a really nice guy and, of course, when there was an awkward silence, I started talking and realized too late that I was running through my usual complaints about my worthless baby daddies. He asked how many and I said three, and he left without a word. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been flirting with at work. Some coworkers had discreetly warned me about him, but I thought he was cute. We get to the date, and after an hour of small talk, he spent the next two hours trying to get me to invest in his crypto coin thing that "is definitely going to be huge." FML
Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came, "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married." FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 23
At least you found out before wasting any cash on it.
Chazzster 32
I think the next words out of my mouth after that would be goodbye, regardless of how much money I made. The only good thing is you found out before wasting too much time, money, or emotion on trash like that.
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Comments (6)
FluffythePink 23
At least you found out before wasting any cash on it.
Justkidding100 41
I would have told her I was unemployed and homeless and could she pay for dinner tonight?
JackWood 21
She's not wasting time she gets right to the point!
Chazzster 32
I think the next words out of my mouth after that would be goodbye, regardless of how much money I made. The only good thing is you found out before wasting too much time, money, or emotion on trash like that.
EricW 4
you should have ****** her and dumped right after that
Razath 17
Never stick your dick in (or take dick from) crazy or gold diggers. That way lies only trouble.
HouseOfM 8
Yeah, you don't want to do that. F****** with crazy and/or a gold digger is a bad idea. More troubled and it's worth.
Alayna Joyce Christensen 16
thats not time wasting. that's efficient as ****. straight to the point. be grateful she didn't string you along for a while.