Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML
Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML
Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Today, I was walking into the building I hoped to work in someday with my resume, ready to be interviewed. As I walked through the doors I had to sneeze, so lifted my hands and sneezed a huge bloody booger right in the middle of the cover page. Turns out future employers don't like that. FML
Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
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Top comments
DiversityHD 16
That is not very hygienic. He should have nose this.
KayDee29 31
Just go ahead and chop that hand off, OP. Just to be safe.
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Comments (45)
dontknow1 19
You should've used alcohol too.
SunshineBoy_fml 16
That's one handshake you wanna avoid but couldn't. Tough luck OP!
buckdharma 38
Maybe this guy was trying to be a fun-Gus?
vikky538 29
Which country has this custom to snEeze in your hand then shake hands..? I am just wondering!
screamogirl123 18
I don't think it was a custom. just something one of his extremely disgusting bosses did. when I read this I nearly three up.
NeatNit 33
I totally four up when I read it.
pandalover69 26
I'm pretty sure that's not a custom in any country.
KayDee29 31
Just go ahead and chop that hand off, OP. Just to be safe.
mickybagabeers 9
awesome. I understand that you couldn't avoid the shake, but how did he play it off? Did he make eye contact as he mashed the snot into your hand? Say anything at all to acknowledge it? stone cold this guy
allie2590 31
And kill the dude to make sure it doesn't happen again.
NeatNit 33
Honestly, I would have lashed out at him and told him how insanely disgusting that is. No regrets, either. THEN go to the bathroom and was my hands etc.
winecrab 7
Now you know what it takes to climb the corporate latter. According to some FML's you can also expect a handshake when they have pieces of toilet paper stuck to their hand or bumping into one of your bosses in the bathroom and have them shake your hand before/if they even wash them, etc. Carry hand sanitizer and you'll make it to the top.
ImagineCrazy 27
I would have rubbed it on his shirt.
EagleSonOfEagle 11
Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.Just a little pat on the back after the handshake is all it would've taken. What would he be able to say after that? "Hey, you rubbed my snot on my suit?" Not saying I would do it, just that it would've been an option