Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Gives new meaning to the word Soap-Opera.
AussieChild 22
This problem can be easily solved in future: don't sing in the shower.
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Comments (80)
AussieChild 22
This problem can be easily solved in future: don't sing in the shower.
perdix 31
Or don't shampoo. You may have to go Sinead O'Connor to save your vocal career.
Pleonasm 36
And your comment has a case of the duds. No offense actually intended I was just hoping to make that rhyme at some point or another!
perdix 31
Another solution: use edible shampoo. Your hair will look like shit, but that won't matter because you'll be wearing a helmet of insects and small, woodland creatures feeding off the bounty of your head.
Zedd_fml 8
One does simply not sing in the shower.
peanutfoo 19
Sorry OP that sucks:(
Skarkie321 18
47- It's one doesn't not simply, not one does simply not
annihil8or 15
That's avoiding the problem, not solving it.
horseridermc 2
We didn't need to hear that one
Whaaaaaat734 6
56-He's saying it Yoda style.
sarah17xx_fml 10
#40 Your comment gave me a nasty mental image..
kj51 5
Gods way of telling you to STFU
LiveLoveBeatles 19
54- I don't always correct people using memes "incorrectly", but when I do, I'm also wrong..
123amanda123 14
take it like a man!
aimeesea75 16
Swallowing shampoo will induce vomiting regardless of gender.
GoingCommando93 14
OP is clearly a woman. You'd know that if you looked at the FML before commenting.
ScaughtieHolden 11
I guess she doesn't swallow... Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
baconftw 9
A man would probably take it the same way.
ASD_K 11
I bet that sounded incredible.
Angio113 10
She probably sounded soaper!(;
Pleonasm 36
Gives new meaning to the word Soap-Opera.
thatpeachyperson 12
You just gained all of my respect, kind sir.
BellaBelle_fml 23
It took you until this comment to finally respect Pleonasm's comments?! You must be new…
Inheritance 10
*Reads Pleonasms' comment* *Goes and respects the nature of Soap-Opera.*
ALlamaOnFire 20
You're quickly becoming one of my favourite commenters:')
nelds 12
Brilliant pun, my good sir.
zandalee 20
Yeah the world conspires to shut me up when ever I attempt to sing as well. My singing really sucks.
onlychildFTW 34
OP needs to stop dining in the shower. Or at least not when shampooing. Common sense people! Plus, it isn't that hard to not get shampoo in eyes, mouth, or on the face. I haven't for about 10-12 years.
Jordath_Fil 11
Because everyone eats in the shower.
jojimugo 20
Seems your body can't stand your sound. You should quit
perdix 31
Don't blame the shampoo, deep down you realize your singing is just that horrible. You ought to try out for American Idol. I only watch the audition weeks where The Horribles make asses of themselves. I'd like to see if I could endure your vomit-inducing musical stylings.
Trisha_aus 15
Even have a name, "The Horribles" nice
annie_nk 23
I think the number of viewers American Idol gets drops dramatically after the try outs. That's the only good part of the show in my opinion.
perdix 31
#25, I agree. What amazes me about The Horribles is that no one among their friends and family have told them that they suck at singing.
ALlamaOnFire 20
38 - Whoever names them 'The Horribles' was certainly giving them a hint! :')
AKGirlinSD 20
Perdix, it amazes me as well that no one has the balls to tell them they don't have a good singing voice. They probably sing drunk karaoke and all the drunks cheer them on. Therefore, making The Horribles feel like they are amazing singers.
Ladylillith 9
I bet people tell them they suck, but they just don't listen.
bazzer69 3
It's like those lying bastards from johnsons and johnsons with their "no more tears" shampoo
danaavery 5
Those shampoos never worked for me either. They caused many, many tears. Almost worse than l'oreal
outoftown 27
(dumb reply removed by author)
SpikyG 3
Was the taste at least good?
SirFawkes 16
"I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up" You're right, it tasted like an entire cuisine in the OP's mouth.
BellaBelle_fml 23
SpikyG, due to your inane and, most of the time, disrespectful comments, almost every one of your comments that I have seen have been thumbed down. Causing several people to put you in your place. And yet you still have not learned from that? I'm actually beginning to believe that you are simply being a troll. I will be the first to admit that I have had my fair share of negative thumbs and people arguing with me. But, I try to learn from my mistakes and better myself and my comments so I don't come across as a complete moron and/or asshat. I guarantee you that I will still sometimes get negative thumbs. Although, I will continuously do my best to keep learning from them.
gracehi 33
Well aren't you just so ******* wonderful? Reading SpikyG's profile, I'm lead to believe that he is either mentally handicapped, extremely uneducated, or speaks English as a second language. Whatever the case, he can't help it, but experience tells me he is most likely not a native English speaker, which would explain why his comments are so terrible. Although, I just have to take your weord on it that he consistently makes bad comments because, unlike you, I don't keep tallies of who makes down voted comments. Although, he has only made 35 comments, which isn't very many. Not a lot of time for him to improve, now is it? In this case, all he did was ask a stupid question, which isn't exactly a federal offense. Now get your panties out of that wad and chill.
SpikyG 3
*Sign, People trying to teach other people on the Internet never goes the way you want it to. I speak English as my second language.
eggmarie 25
Did I miss when BellaBelle became the FML police and can decide who can or can't comment? If you don't like his comments, thumb him down and move on with your life. No need to write him a novel about how much you think he sucks.
danaavery 5
If you tasted shampoo, you should have spat it out! Don't continue singing.