Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year-old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year-old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
She loves you enough to mark you with her scent, that should keep the other women and dangerous predators away from you.
helennaa 0
Oh my goodness. Well, at least she's honest. How do you even respond to something like that?
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Comments (84)
Skull_300 0
pppffffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttt...
makenzie675 0
so cute . she. obviously does love you.
anjyu22 0
Man, I can't wait to get married.
tiffanyheart 0
I can't believe this hasn't been said already but how is it **** YOUR life, it's **** both of your lives. Obviously something is wrong in your marriage and you both have to fix it. Women (and men) don't just wake up and decide "I don't love you anymore". Don't blame your wife, both of you need to fix this. Seriously.
Lucas23_fml 0
Dude! I'm sorry to say that you have been officially scented, which basically means your her bitch for the week.
TaylorVenturina 0
what a wife.
dimension516 0
Women should not be allowed to fart, that's ******* disgusting.
no_luck83 0
DarlingNikki_85 that is ****** funny that's what that is
Zazu7711 0
LMAO
sweatteaforme001 0
So what, when men fart its attractive and fragrant? Can we say double standards?
EChan 1
YDI for fishing for a compliment. I'm surprised that this is coming from a guy.
LemonStarship 5
"Oh she farted and it went down my throat"