Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML
Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
Idontgivedamn 0
He probably doesn't mean it to be mean, he's trying to be a funny in dumb/cute way.
gildedmuse 0
I am almost positive that saying things like, "I'd rather date a girl who was a little fatter" as if it's a negative is exactly the sort of thing that makes girls wonder, "Wait, am I fat?" constantly.
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Comments (164)
kylie16 0
I think thats adorable :3
almostalbino 10
Haha! Can I steal your man? :D
mp1233 0
tell him yeah and his penis is bigger than yours
yourkindacool18 5
instead of making him a sandwich, why not make him some muffins?
flockz 20
do u know him?
chanellgymnast 17
The muffin man?! WHO LIVES ON DRURY LANE?!
LoSnacks 9
This just put a bright spot in my day:)
8313girl 28
I'm laughing and holding back tears because I can't get the muffin man lyrics out my head lmao
Dbotmen 9
My insides cried a little upon reading this. In a good way, though. Of laughter!
ifuckuprandomly 28
Being as we're both from Birmingham; I have some advice. Do it like a Handsworth girl and punch the **** out of him.