Bodyshaming

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML

Health hazard

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

Bad moon rising

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

Today, at my job as a sailing instructor, I had to stop kids from getting their asses sucked by a pool filter. FML

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

Cute

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

Little perv

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML