Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML
Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, I decided to start jogging again for the first time in months. I made it one block before tripping over the curb. I fell so hard, my phone flew out of my pocket and hit a parked car, setting off its alarm. I ran off when I saw house curtains all around me start to twitch. FML
Today, while jogging, I realized my face jiggles more than my breasts. FML
Today, I'm training for my first half marathon so I went for a run in a busy park. I tripped on a completely flat path in front of about twenty people. Not only did I fall, but my wireless earbuds flew out dramatically in opposite directions. Some wise ass golf clapped. FML
Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
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Top comments
Calivale 7
2 choices! 1)Keep jogging 2) turn the music up!
Moota 9
You're jogging those thunder thighs off though, so it's okay OP!
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Comments (193)
Emmysmiles 2
is that a joke :L
pitafrench 2
Only in america...
Tarantino_fml 11
Regardless of the clapping, at least this person is trying... which is a damn sight more than most people.
Hunny_bear 0
run faster :)
chels1994 11
Think of it as motivation every time you hear it (:
AlaskaLuv 6
my mom thought i was crazy cause i started cracking up after reading this.then she read it and we were both rotfl!
ShitHappens6667 0
Okay all these rude comments are annoying. I have the same problem at times but I'm far from fat. You probably are as well. I would just recommend wearing longer shorts to avoid the friction and applying baby powder before you get dressed to go jog. But seriously, keep up the good work. It WILL pay off in the long run. :)
hugs1976 0
I agree, enough of the rude comments! Thank God OP is exercising. I doubt many of the rest of you are and yet you are quick to judge.
Tjissie 2
Wooooow.....
419 0
Nice username.
eaze_ya_miind 1
you couldn't feel your thighs "violently" clapping together? you're either really ditzy and dumb or this isn't real