Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So… don't touch you at all?" FML
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with, "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
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Top comments
alexandraa_fml 0
She deserves it for fishing for compliments.
24788 7
You know you wanted to say that because she's always bitching about her weight. I hate how fit woman say they are fat and need to lose weight. I'm so fat I can't eat one piece of brownie or it will go straight to my thighs... Good, I'm ******* glad then you won't break in half when I bend you over.
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Comments (124)
skrotty 0
that has made my night, absolutely fcuking hilarious.. As another male i feel your pain, but still hilarious just woke up flatmates with laughter. Love it..
somethingnew24 0
@alexandra I totally agree with you fishing for compliments really?? I would have said you have perfect eyesight lol
Mordred_fml 0
Yikes! I hate when that happens. My sympathies to you, brother. D:
xGinaxJorgex 0
that happens to me all the time, someone tlks about sumthing nd then I accidently say it cause ur still thinking about it. hopefully you two are still together?
KurouTenshi 0
LOL with a p-h! but yeah, FYL
kdkorz 7
No one noted that if she's actually anorexic or developing anorexia she now has the perfect tool with which to put herself down.
Ducati45 0
ouch that would totally kill my self esteemmm....FHL. On the plus side, maybe she'll do it with you more often because she'll feel unattractive and have to prove it to herself?
Flutist 3
Yea, wow, you found out our secret. Call us fat so we can become ***** with no self-esteem. You sound like a jack-ass. Next time maybe value the female mind a little bit more. Women are not just around for sex, to bear children, and be at home cooking for you. Thanks for putting us back a few hundred years.
FOAD 0
Daddy not hug you enough? Stop being so sensitive, he wasn't serious.
Flutist 3
Uh, no. It's not funny. You might think its a joke but I don't. People like that just further inequality between people. Should I tell people to shut up when they are saying racist things and just walk away because its a joke? Or when someone is beating up a "fag" because its just a game and its what happens? It might seem like a minor thing to you, but you aren't thinking about the big picture.
Maddoctor 10
#84, you're just as bad as #24, if not worse.
rawrgle 7
I agree with flutist, you guys are dicks :(
blinkmeplease182 0
At least you had the balls to try and say she was beautiful instead of agreeing with her...which you ended up doing..but she shouldn't be fishing for compliments like that and you should watch what your saying.
Morphs 0
I guess she totally deserved that for whining..
sarcdude 3
Dude! Why isn't it the men that makes the woman sleep on the couch in these particular situations >:(
spunkylady 24
My husband does that to me when I deserve it. Lol