Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So… don't touch you at all?" FML
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with, "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
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Top comments
alexandraa_fml 0
She deserves it for fishing for compliments.
24788 7
You know you wanted to say that because she's always bitching about her weight. I hate how fit woman say they are fat and need to lose weight. I'm so fat I can't eat one piece of brownie or it will go straight to my thighs... Good, I'm ******* glad then you won't break in half when I bend you over.
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Comments (124)
xxwtfwasthatxx 0
how do you **** up that bad?
tired_ra 0
Showering with your girlfriend? There's your first problem. Don't worry about it, people who cohabitate, which I'm assuming you do since you were showering together, are more likely to have their relationships fail, so....it was bound to happen.
_whoops 0
haha that is true
manstie 1
Why are americans so stupid? It's only americans that jumble up words, I sware...
themahoneymonste 0
lol.. says the person who spells the word "swear" wrong.
LissaMccracken 23
*swear. Don't call people stupid when you can't even spell. And not all Americans are stupid, and people who aren't American have done that. Go **** yourself.
Consequences 0
Just ignore it, when they do that. I'm so sick of size 0's and their laments of how "obeast" (as a size 2 friend of mine calls herself) they are.
alexandriakid 0
She deserves it, I hate girls that KNOW they have a perfect body but still complain about being "fat" just so they can get compliments.
FJT 0
Thats not fair there are plenty of people who might seem like they have the perfect body but are more self concious than anyone else. they see themselves differently to how everyone else sees them
princess_six 0
Oh noes hahaha XDDDD I hope you apologized to he :P
leadrunner751 3
sometimes people screw words up
Nuahavizu 17
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha. Ok, i got that out of my system. But really, if she doesn't accept your accidental spoonerism, than you should be jsut as mad at her.
My2864 1
how? ........ xD