Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML
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Top comments
justfienne 12
Cut a hole in the crotch, then she'll never have to take them off.
DocBastard 40
I will NEVER understand women and fashion. Squeezing yourselves into jeans just to make your ass look good, contorting your feet into high heels just to make your legs look good, shoving yourselves into push-up bras just to make your boobs look good... Actually, forget what I just said. Keep doing all those things, please. You know, for fashion.
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Comments (165)
SugarCrazy 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't blame her. Getting tight jeans on and off is no simple task.
imp4ct 15
Thight jeans look hot, but they suck if we guys can't have our fun by taking them off!
enonymous 9
Don't need to take off pants to please a man. Smoke and a pancake + Bj is the breakfast of champions
gamercanadian 11
She sleeps wearing jeans ?
piccalo 4
U look so cute:-)
ThisIsMyReign 4
Tight jeans is 100% effective against pregnancy.
Davidthejoo 0
My First thought to 17
CaptainPickles72 18
#17- They might not have been sleeping! They could've just been relaxing or cuddling in bed together. No need to change into bed clothes when you're just cuddling.
TheFunnyzach 3
Cool
capper44 18
Well #1 i totally agree with you.... But still she can do atleast this much for her fiance lol
Wederoney 16
Well... actually you got cockblocked by your girlfriends' laziness. FYL
HannahWho 8
Just because the guy is in the mood does not mean the girl has to have sex with him. It is not a big deal, per say, but the idea that just because one person is down to do the dirty the other has to instantly comply just irks me (mainly because of a boyfriend I had who pulled down my pants one time so "we could have sex"... when I had told him that at 15 I was not going to be having sex). Anyways, Op, if she is not in the mood then the jeans were just an excuse. Sex is messy, if you were going somewhere afterwards she might not have wanted to mess up her outfit/look. Does not mean she will never have sex with you.
calivianya 29
133 - You're missing the point here. Yeah, she doesn't have to have sex if she doesn't want to, but she could always say, "No, I'm not in the mood for sex right now." Making it all about her jeans is pathetically passive-aggressive.
201019tony89 0
She wouldn't if she was my girl ha ha maybe shorts but not something that would be uncomfortable for me to snuggle with ha ha ha
speedy420 0
hiiiiiiii :D
ManWhatsoever 6
Why you didn't take your pants off first?!!
melchibr_fml 0
Why was she wearing jeans in bed anyway? That's a very uncomfortable outfit to sleep in.
ManWhatsoever 6
It's obvious, to make crapy excuses to not have sex with him.
TheMaster15 10
He even could have offered to help!
QWERTYCommander 5
Actually, I sleep in in that outfit all the time. I'm lazy; don't judge.
justfienne 12
Cut a hole in the crotch, then she'll never have to take them off.
Awwdatsucks 2
I am interested in your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
RedPillSucks 33
I dated a girl that used to wear pants that had crotch zippers from front all the way to the back. Easy access FTW.... Too bad she was my profs daughter...
silentbutfunny 0
67 you dated her, whats the problem?
RedPillSucks 33
Having to worry about failing a class when my prof finds out I'm banging his daughter... "Everybody rides her, just like a bus route"
dulayole 6
Clever girl.
ManlyDunsparce 3
I'd say we all have been there... But I doubt many have. Sorry bro! Those jeans are out to ruin your love life.
detorio 2
AYE! Ain't that the truth x(
phantumgrey 6
Sounds like of she dropped a few pounds shed fit into her jeans better
Livelife121 30
They could have been super skinny jeans, they're a pain in the ass to get on/off even when you're already skinny.
bignate898 0
No shit
hawright 13
Is this guy serious? I can't tell.
Sab0026 0
Lol, sucks for you.
boofgall 16
It just might have to be.
KiddNYC1O 22
Smooth. Lol. ^
snafu63 0
good thing she doesn't wear pants around her mouth.
muhamad92 1
LMAO
ManWhatsoever 6
Or just don't hook up with girls wearing tight jeans
GoW_Chick 15
It was his fiancé, I think they may be past the point of it just being a "hook up."
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Yeah, you should always ask that at the beginning of any relationship.
ManWhatsoever 6
I know that, I was just being sarcastic
GoW_Chick 15
My sarcasm detector must've been broken when I read your comment, it has been on the fritz lately.
ManWhatsoever 6
You need to fix it soon my dear, cuz I'll be on this mood for while lol
infinitii 0
More like you got cockblocked by a girlfriend with bad excuses.
AlaskaKid95 7
You try putting tight skinny jeans on, it's a workout!
kerrwoof 13
I would say to tell her that having sex will burn some calories to help her fit into her jeans better, but I'm sure that wouldn't go over too well..
xbella 8
what does your tattoo say? lol random, but it looks nice
cyK0tek 0
Also say that semen is a natural fat-burner!
kerrwoof 13
It says "sero sed serio" which means "late but in earnest".