Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
justfienne 12
Cut a hole in the crotch, then she'll never have to take them off.
DocBastard 40
I will NEVER understand women and fashion. Squeezing yourselves into jeans just to make your ass look good, contorting your feet into high heels just to make your legs look good, shoving yourselves into push-up bras just to make your boobs look good... Actually, forget what I just said. Keep doing all those things, please. You know, for fashion.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (165)
missyfiona89 28
Erm, it's probably just an excuse. You know that- right? She probably wasn't in the mood or she got bored of ******* you. Either way, you wouldn't have gotten any even if she was wearing a mini.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
(cue the fat comments) Seriously though, no matter what size you are, you shouldn't wear clothes that are too small for you, or that require you to "squeeze into them". Your girlfriend needs to get some jeans that are easier to take off and put on, therefore taking care of this issue. I don't know why so many people wear clothes that are too small for them...it's not flattering no matter how fat/skinny you are.
Krulin 8
This. Skinny jeans not only look stupid as hell ("I want everyone around me to be able to count my pocket change!") but they cause health complications by compressing blood vessels in your legs.
PandaLoverXD 12
Skinny jeans don't have to be uncomfortable and no one should have to squeeze into them. Even skinny jeans don't require squeezing. If your skinny jeans require that, you need a new pair that is tight but not uncomfortable. Skinny jeans are just as comfortable as any other jeans as long as you wear the right size.
lishy1311 0
LOLOL
DQEight 8
Wait why is she wearing jeans in bed?
jamethy 9
Ok... I'm guessing this is the new female excuse for 'I have a headache'. What ever will they think if next lol?!
Chronoglenn 0
Get a skinnier fiance in my opinion.
mercsl65 7
ufck bitches get money
chels1994 11
Its exhausting, I can understand where she is coming from
KYLAisaBITCH 4
Why would she be wearing jeans in the bed? :
Yulia_fml 0
You don't ask her to take her jeans off, you take them off yourself!! By being a lazy bum and poor excuse for man, you gave her the right to cockblock you with a silly excuse. Good going :)