Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML
Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter, and I work at a fish grill. FML
Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML
Today, I asked a table at a restaurant if there's anything I could get out of their way and they replied, "Yeah, you." FML
Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML
Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML
Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML
Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML
Today, I got up the courage to go to a nice place for lunch alone. I wasn't expecting the Tilapia I ordered to be the whole fish, so I asked the waiter for a box because, "I forgot about an appointment in 20 minutes," just so he wouldn't think I was an idiot who didn't know what I was ordering. FML
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Top comments
writerchic85 26
That would have made me laugh, I would have played along.
yeaforreal 14
What?? That is hilarious!
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Comments (69)
HappyItalian 38
Did he order seafood and eat it in a slow and menacing way in front of the koi?
ellerios82 8
I would have found that hilarious!
hellnosucka 27
I can imagine him sitting next to the koi, eyes squinting with venom, mouth crunching fish bones and whispering "Your turn is coming soon you little bitches."
LyricaSilvan 30
The question is, did the koi fish take the hint?
mrsmikelowrey 15
Was this guy a dad? That sounds like a dad joke!
Chikiriwak 17
not exactly to say FYL, but this was hilarious
Goblin182 27
Mobsters threaten people with "you'll be sleeping with the fishes". Do fish threaten each other with, "you'll be sleeping with the people".
Railroader 16
I hate fish
Zarcissa 34
According to OP's username, the poor fishies need serious therapy.
elliotfig 7
Why is some guy's joke an FML?