Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML
Today, as part of my job at a pet store, I helped our frat house president pick out goldfish for the new aquarium the big brothers are installing over summer break. And, once I'm initiated, I'll get to swallow one of the fish. FML
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML
Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, I was at the fish store asking if they were hiring. My stepdad decided to humiliate me by screaming at them repeatedly that I'm a good person and that I deserve the job. FML
Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML
Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML
Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
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Top comments
Runninvegan 8
Who wants a Fishy! You do! You want a fishy!
ckr911 5
Awwwkkkwaarrddd!!
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Comments (218)
fatraptorjesus13 9
haha well that stinks..
zaveeshaveesh3 7
I don't understand whatsoever
RaiEllati 2
when ppl get tongue piercings they don't articulate for a few days to a week aha so she probably sounded like she couldn't talk well in a "special" way
LoveKeepsGoing 7
When you get your tongue pierced at first its a bit difficult to talk, so your voice sounds kinda sped like.
zaveeshaveesh3 7
Ohhh I get it now you talked funny because of your tongue sorry I'm slow.
flockz 20
12- you want a fishy? a fishy fishy fishy?
EvilPotato 15
what made him think that?
zaveeshaveesh3 7
-15 YESH!!!! I want fishyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!
zaveeshaveesh3 7
I thinks evilpotato wants fishys tooo
H00SIERBOY 0
you've obviously never got your dick suck from a girl with a tongue piercing. Rookie.
eminemchick 19
^how did this conversation turn to dick?
LiveLaughFML 10
haha, I think the clerk was "special." i mean, that's what his mother told him growing up(:
juicedboi 7
Did anyone else try saying no thanks with a lisp? No? Just me then? Great...
MrSassypants 34
21 you should've said n00bz, then your comment would've been "perfect" (well... in it's own little way). :D
derper71 3
OP, hit him with the bag and shout " how about you have a little fish!"
Iamnotmyself 17
-57 You had a thumbs down? I fear for how long humanity shall survive the apocolypse.
tradaj 3
ok, so firstly, why were you carrying pet fish around with you while you went to get your tongue pierced??
manatees_r_epic 0
I feel like an idiot now.. By the way- "no thankths"...
aprilfools22 11
lol actually, I did... again.
Gross2332 0
lmao anyone seen pablo fransico?
XxFA1LxX 4
that she sounded weird from percing.
DalekScythe 0
"that's a lot of fish." - Stetapolous (Godzilla 1998)
ckr911 5
Awwwkkkwaarrddd!!
Lanceeden 12
They should put that in a childrens movie!
zozohearts 0
Lol he sounds awesome!
VeganVampyre 27
Doesn't the creepy kid in Finding Nemo say something like that?
J0gby 0
wait. what was the point of op telling us about feeting their tongue pierced?
Xtra_Cheddar 3
What does getting your tongue pierced have to do with anything?
Runninvegan 8
Who wants a Fishy! You do! You want a fishy!
sxe_beast 11
I want a Fishy!
california283 6
none for Gretchen Wieners
eminemchick 19
ah the floating bra from icarly!
elmogoezRAWR 0
OSHI- ruuuuuuun!!!!
anencephalic 14
This offer seems fishy.
DFlit1 0
Well u just got ur tongue pierced so either u sound really stupid or maybe ur just retarded for getting a piercing through ur tongue
raelynn00 4
How is that retarded? It's perfectly safe unless ur a complete moron. Iv had mine done for 2 years a no complications at all I love it.
lalala2589 0
60 - He/she was referring how you just payed $60 to put a bead on your tongue and talk like you have downs... But, of course you wouldn't have caught that.
Awsumuzzie 12
Hm, 73, if I married people based upon their comebacks, you'd probably be in my pants right now, js.
vegan_muffin 5
If you play with it too much, it erodes away at the gum line and tooth enamel. Of course, if you can avoid playing with it, that's not an issue. But if you can avoid playing with it, why bother getting it in the first place? Answer: Freudian oral fixation!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Well, anything you do at all in your daily life can be dangerous. Some piercings are definitely worth it. You're taking a bit of a risk even with a good piercer, but to call someone an idiot just because they took a risk is perhaps even more idiotic than the risk they took.
mejiiaa 0
Some people just like the style . Life is too short to be living too cautiously . Chill out.
V19Spartan 1
Idk, something about this story sounds fishy... #giggity!
RUSH777 0
84, really now? Before I start MY story, let me make it clear that I am now clean, however; I've repierced my OWN tongue 6 times now. One of those times, I was heavily under the influence of MDMA and literally stuck at least 20 holes through my tongue, at one time, trying to get the right spot. I think it's pretty damn safe.
ALQ_fml 13
I get that you're probably being [somewhat] sarcastic, but that is still a ridiculous statement. Body modification of many kinds is becoming far more acceptable, and there are many intelligent people who get them, including tongue piercings. Personal choices such as having a professional modify one's flesh with piercings, ink, or otherwise is hardly something that reflects upon intelligence; modification professionals are trained to do exactly this, thus minimizing the risk. I actually recommend you get something akin to a troll tattooed on your forehead. It seems like it might be a good look for you. While some modifications are difficult to hide in a professional setting, such as tattoos on the face and hands, others are extremely easy to conceal. For all we know, the OP is a brilliant professional who excels in his or her field and intends to use a retainer during business hours.
mr_freak 1
what kind fishy fishy u got?.lol
mrsvickybear 9
Haha
xxskittlezxx1 0
i couldnt talk for three days when i peirced mine
krazy_glu3 0
I talked normal and my tongue was never swollen. Changed the bar after one week.
oarisimo 4
58- good for you...?
LittleRRed 5
Fishy fishy fishy!!
The_FMLs 0
A fishy fishy fishy!
JTthePurpleNinja 5
So it was more of a "No thanksth" ?
IndiRae 9
I was imagining the tongue piercing completely disabled OP from speaking normally, and that "No thanks" sound more like "I got no need more fish. Herp." That's just me though.
JTthePurpleNinja 5
I guess so but you'd still make out the "no thanks" but it would sound weird ( hence why the guy may have thought she was 'special') :)
sandyandellie 5
indirae, I just stalked you. youre on my 'cool' list :)
bjulie1998 5
76, You're on my "cool list".
kawaiianime 5
I would have slapped him...
x_messyjessy_x 0
With the fishy fishy??
tona01 16
Just for this comment and for others i read, this fml is going to favorites
bizarre_ftw 22
Lol now that I think of it I probably would too lol!! Cuz, given the guy thinks op is mentally unwell, a person in that situation could get away with A Lot!!! Including becoming obviously composed on their way out and waving with a jackass smile on their face when the person couldn't do anything about it
TheLetterZero 7
YDI for getting your tongue pierced. That's gross and uncool.
H00SIERBOY 0
Your stupid.
cheesenuggrt 5
It's "you are" or "you're".
Jesus_Christ69 0
Do you only care about gettin your dick sucked?
TheLetterZero 7
If I'm stupid, then you must be much further down the intelligence ladder than "stupid", #25.
brianjman14 23
#19, keep your close minded opinions to yourself.
Taylorrr005 0
Totally agreed
raelynn00 4
Ur response to being called stupid reminded me of back in pre-k where we would respond with "I know u r but what am I" haha good job proving their point. It's one of the most common piercings I personally hav mine done and hav had it done for over 2 years. I love it and most others do also they're curious about it.
IndigoAcrylic 9
I'd say your partner is the one who truly enjoys your piercing... If yah know what I mean (;
TheLetterZero 7
Why does my intelligence keep being insulted by those who fail at using the English language? You'd think people would know their place.
H00SIERBOY 0
who the **** cares if it your or you're. ******* clown.
DeLpHe3zY 7
canadian fight
gmc_blossom 21
I agree. Most people who call others "stupid" or "retarded" say it like, "ur soooo stoopid and retarted!" I fail to understand how that person is any smarter than the one they're calling unintelligent. *Sigh* Some people..
gmc_blossom 21
That was meant for 70, by the way. I forgot to put who it was for. >_>
a_lenzmeier 11
Just wait until you meet a girl with a tongue ring #19. Someday, you will understand the glory of it.
tehzilla 12
#94 Bahaha, agreed.
alisakittykat 0
It actually is "your" get your facts straight
monzach 5
140- "your" is possessive and in the sentence "your stupid" it would mean stupid belonging to him as opposed to "you're stupid" which means that he has the characteristic of stupid.
whisperingeye13 0
it feels great when your getting your dick sucked. not so uncool after all sir.
GothicAngel17 24
Tongue piercings are predominantly for oral sex, just as genital piercings are for sex and foreplay. Are you saying oral sex is gross and uncool? Wow... just wow. Are you a virgin or something? BTW guys with tongue piercings are ******* hot. Best. Piercing. A guy. Can get. EVER. Especially when he puts it to good use.
tona01 16
I normally don't like piercings, but i have to agree, kissing a girl with a tounge piercing, were without exageration the best kisses i ever got. And out of respect, i'm not mencioning the other uses
pepsitwist30 0
Nothing wrong with tongue piercings