Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I went in for a hug with my friend, but she leaned in for a kiss on the cheek at the same time. What followed was a full-on awkward face collision where I ended up kissing her on the lips. We both stood there, staring at each other before I muttered, “Sorry, gross." She really took it personally. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
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Top comments
GovernorGeneral 8
Everything's an accident nowadays.
Jeffo193 13
Wait, a homeless guy kissed you and your biggest concern is that it wasn't a very good kiss!?
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Comments (109)
inaphansoa 9
That's hot.
StaminPrimer 0
73- oh yeah, it was totally ******* hot for OP to get her face sucked off by a vacuum that resembled a homeless person.
inaphansoa 9
I thought it was obvious that I was being sarcastic.
Fusion55 7
Homeless people need loving too.
duckiegirl21 10
I hope s/he managed to brush their teeth that day. :(
animal50199 10
One of "them?" Seriously? I hope you become one of "them." Homelessness isn't a cult.
kitsune3 20
Overreacting much? It's just a word, dear. Cool your nads.
iBiteRoses 22
Haha, your life really SUCKS...
unknown_user5566 27
Did he ask to have one of your eyeballs for his collection, too? ;)
andiewithlove 21
Maybe the food was so crappy that he wanted something a little sweeter(;
mercsl65 7
I sure fooled you! how'd you like the kiss? im not homeless I just go to the shelter for free smooches and food (;
Bigmoneyshotz 0
How do you accidentally kiss some one?
StaminPrimer 0
65: the guy had some pretty big and serious balls to kiss a volunteer on the lips, therefore the kisser needs them kicked. Should be a pretty easy target, knowing the ******* big balls the person had in the first place to pulls this stunt.